I've always been somewhat of a grammar nerd. I loved doing my vocabulary and spelling homework in school. And there was this one time when I was in 8th grade, that I corrected my uncle's friend. He kept saying "ain't" and it was beginning to drive me nuts. So while we were all outside in front of his house, I looked at him dead in the eye and said, "Ain't isn't a word. It's improper English." Suffice it to say, my uncle took my side and told his friend, "You just got schooled by an 8th grader." And then proceeded to laugh at him.
To this day, I'm still that person. I hate it when people can't spell things correctly. It drives me nuts. Not to mention that the other day while I was downtown, an apartment complex on a very busy street actually hung a banner saying "Quite apartments! Inquire within!" Um. Quite? Really? No way I'd rent at a place where they can't spell quiet. That's like English 101. I bet my nine-year-old brother even knows what the difference between the words are. And why didn't they make the printer correct this error?
Stuff like that boggles my mind.
But I do have a confession to make.
While I may apart of the grammar police, I do not have the best pronunciation skills. Like, sure, I was voted best public speaker in 8th grade, and speak clearly and concisely, but when it comes to actually pronouncing words, I tend to make up my own.
Example 1: When I was at my friend's house for a sleepover, we got to talking about the Greek festival. Besides thinking of baklava, I remembered this. Normal people pronounce this "span-ah-co-pa-tah" but in my world, I say it like this: "spank-o-pedia."
Example 2: When I was in high school, I applied for this local scholarship from the Boettcher Foundation. The entire time I heard of this, I always thought to myself, it's called "Bo-cheddar," you know, like the cheese. Turns out it's called "Bech-ur." Clearly I was way off.
Example 3: There might have been this one time when I was with my family eating out at a restaurant and we had a really hot waiter. And I might have been flustered, and instead of saying I wanted the "guiltless chicken sandwich," I might have said "gutless."
I think I've embarrassed myself enough. Anyone else have this problem?
Showing posts with label stupid things I do. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid things I do. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I remember...
This weekend was exactly what I needed. On Friday, I was in the worst mood ever, which I would like to blame on my hormones. I was upset because I had gotten to work early specifically so I could help my practically disabled coworker into the office, only she didn't show up until like 9 a.m. I had waited half an hour for her to call, and didn't even eat my instant oatmeal because I was waiting on her. And, by the time she did call, my coworker who normally helps her, was already here. I was so frustrated that I basically wasted my time by coming in early, and I was grouchy because I didn't eat. I was so angry the entire morning that I made myself go to church on my lunch hour so I could calm down because I was afraid my anger would ruin my soul. Church did help, and crying. Don't ask me why I cried. I don't even know, but it felt good. Thankfully by the time I went to bed that night, I wasn't angry anymore.
On Saturday I drove up to Lyons, where I went on a women's retreat with M and our friend Theresa. I don't go to the church who sponsors it--I just go to their annual retreat. This was my second year going. Last year all I did was cry because a lot of changes were going on in my life--my roomie and I weren't living together anymore and my dad had just left for China. Anyways, Saturday went by really fast. I read a book, went for a mini hike up the mountain with M and others to a chapel, played in the snow, watched a couple of men ice fish, and went hot tubbing. It was definitely a good night but at that point, I felt like the weekend was going by too fast, and the retreat was too short. We stayed up late talking and laughing.
Sunday morning came way too fast. I was so tired. But after breakfast, we all rested for almost an hour and that helped. We did a silent meditation and read some prayers. Then we did a drumming circle. Yes, like with actual drums from like Africa and stuff. It was so much fun. I felt like a kid again. And, it's really cathartic. Like, if you have any stress at all, all that banging with your hands can take it out of you. I loved it. After those activities, I felt like my spiritual and emotional meter was full again. It was awesome. We left after lunch because I had to get back in time for a superbowl party. And of course as we're leaving, it started to snow, just like it did on the last retreat I went on. But it was pretty, and I made it safely down the mountain.
When I got home, I rushed to change out of my sweats and into jeans and looked up directions, and then hit the road again. As I was driving, I had flashbacks of a year ago. I definitely didn't have many readers back then, so let me give you a quick recap.
Last year I went to the same superbowl party, after crying all weekend at the retreat. Only, I had way too much to drink. I lost count of the cranberry vodkas I made myself because I was talking with a girl named Jessica, who later introduced me to a book club. I did eat, but I didn't drink nearly enough water, and by the time I had stopped drinking, everyone was leaving and the game was over. So, knowing I was buzzed, I left, because I didn't want to admit that I had drank too much. I figured since everyone else was leaving, I should too. So I put on my sober face and got in my car. I remember calling a friend of mine that lived in Jersey at the time, telling him I had drank too much and that I didn't know how to get home. (It was dark, and I was having trouble seeing my GPS). I remember him telling me I shouldn't drive, to go back into my friend's house.
But of course I didn't listen. I told him I would be fine and started my car. I drove out of her neighborhood, and was turning left, when I ran into the curb. I told myself to be more careful and thought nothing of it. (Later it turned out that I lost my hub cap) I squinted in the dark, driving, listening to my GPS tell me where to go. At one point, I was on a two-lane road that was very dark. I remember that all the cars behind me were going so fast and that I couldn't drive that fast. I think I was going like 30, because I was too paranoid that I'd get pulled over. Finally, I couldn't do it anymore. I had no idea where I was, because I was surrounded by trees. I called my brother who was in college at the time in Oklahoma, and told him that I drank too much and that I was lost and that I didn't know what to do and that he should definitely NOT tell mom. I cried. He told me to take deep breathes and said that I shouldn't drive and that he was calling mom. I was so mad. I didn't want to be in trouble.
While I waited for my mom to call, I decided to keep driving. Finally I made it into civilization. The first store I saw was a Walgreens. I made it safely into the parking lot and told my mom I was there. While I waited for her to pick me up, I went inside because I had to pee like no other. I remember asking the girl at the cash register where the bathrooms were and her asking me if I was okay. Turns out my entire face was all red from drinking and my mascara had smeared in the midst of my crying jag earlier. After doing my business, I went to my car. My mom showed up and told me to get into the car. She was angry but I thought it was funny, so I laughed. Then I got in the car. (Apparently she then went into the store and told the lady at the register that I was drunk and asked if it would be okay to leave my car there overnight, but I have no recollection of that happening) My little brother asked me if I was drunk and of course I said no. But he didn't believe me. Oh, and my mom told me I reeked of alcohol. Nice one, Wonderful.
We made it home safely, I changed out of my jeans, drank some water, and then threw up in the middle of the night. I was so hungover the next day, it wasn't even funny. But my mom never gave me the lecture I thought she would. She simply told me that she loved me and was glad that I didn't drive. I definitely learned my lesson.
So, this year driving on the same road as last year, I could actually tell where I was for one. For another, I realized how far I have come in a year. This year I talked the whole time to Jessica and other people at the party, and I ate my weight in cupcakes, but I only had one beer. I drove home sober. I didn't get lost. I am proud of myself.
All I can say is, what a difference a year makes.
On Saturday I drove up to Lyons, where I went on a women's retreat with M and our friend Theresa. I don't go to the church who sponsors it--I just go to their annual retreat. This was my second year going. Last year all I did was cry because a lot of changes were going on in my life--my roomie and I weren't living together anymore and my dad had just left for China. Anyways, Saturday went by really fast. I read a book, went for a mini hike up the mountain with M and others to a chapel, played in the snow, watched a couple of men ice fish, and went hot tubbing. It was definitely a good night but at that point, I felt like the weekend was going by too fast, and the retreat was too short. We stayed up late talking and laughing.
Sunday morning came way too fast. I was so tired. But after breakfast, we all rested for almost an hour and that helped. We did a silent meditation and read some prayers. Then we did a drumming circle. Yes, like with actual drums from like Africa and stuff. It was so much fun. I felt like a kid again. And, it's really cathartic. Like, if you have any stress at all, all that banging with your hands can take it out of you. I loved it. After those activities, I felt like my spiritual and emotional meter was full again. It was awesome. We left after lunch because I had to get back in time for a superbowl party. And of course as we're leaving, it started to snow, just like it did on the last retreat I went on. But it was pretty, and I made it safely down the mountain.
When I got home, I rushed to change out of my sweats and into jeans and looked up directions, and then hit the road again. As I was driving, I had flashbacks of a year ago. I definitely didn't have many readers back then, so let me give you a quick recap.
Last year I went to the same superbowl party, after crying all weekend at the retreat. Only, I had way too much to drink. I lost count of the cranberry vodkas I made myself because I was talking with a girl named Jessica, who later introduced me to a book club. I did eat, but I didn't drink nearly enough water, and by the time I had stopped drinking, everyone was leaving and the game was over. So, knowing I was buzzed, I left, because I didn't want to admit that I had drank too much. I figured since everyone else was leaving, I should too. So I put on my sober face and got in my car. I remember calling a friend of mine that lived in Jersey at the time, telling him I had drank too much and that I didn't know how to get home. (It was dark, and I was having trouble seeing my GPS). I remember him telling me I shouldn't drive, to go back into my friend's house.
But of course I didn't listen. I told him I would be fine and started my car. I drove out of her neighborhood, and was turning left, when I ran into the curb. I told myself to be more careful and thought nothing of it. (Later it turned out that I lost my hub cap) I squinted in the dark, driving, listening to my GPS tell me where to go. At one point, I was on a two-lane road that was very dark. I remember that all the cars behind me were going so fast and that I couldn't drive that fast. I think I was going like 30, because I was too paranoid that I'd get pulled over. Finally, I couldn't do it anymore. I had no idea where I was, because I was surrounded by trees. I called my brother who was in college at the time in Oklahoma, and told him that I drank too much and that I was lost and that I didn't know what to do and that he should definitely NOT tell mom. I cried. He told me to take deep breathes and said that I shouldn't drive and that he was calling mom. I was so mad. I didn't want to be in trouble.
While I waited for my mom to call, I decided to keep driving. Finally I made it into civilization. The first store I saw was a Walgreens. I made it safely into the parking lot and told my mom I was there. While I waited for her to pick me up, I went inside because I had to pee like no other. I remember asking the girl at the cash register where the bathrooms were and her asking me if I was okay. Turns out my entire face was all red from drinking and my mascara had smeared in the midst of my crying jag earlier. After doing my business, I went to my car. My mom showed up and told me to get into the car. She was angry but I thought it was funny, so I laughed. Then I got in the car. (Apparently she then went into the store and told the lady at the register that I was drunk and asked if it would be okay to leave my car there overnight, but I have no recollection of that happening) My little brother asked me if I was drunk and of course I said no. But he didn't believe me. Oh, and my mom told me I reeked of alcohol. Nice one, Wonderful.
We made it home safely, I changed out of my jeans, drank some water, and then threw up in the middle of the night. I was so hungover the next day, it wasn't even funny. But my mom never gave me the lecture I thought she would. She simply told me that she loved me and was glad that I didn't drive. I definitely learned my lesson.
So, this year driving on the same road as last year, I could actually tell where I was for one. For another, I realized how far I have come in a year. This year I talked the whole time to Jessica and other people at the party, and I ate my weight in cupcakes, but I only had one beer. I drove home sober. I didn't get lost. I am proud of myself.
All I can say is, what a difference a year makes.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Dangers of the Microwave
So today I learned first hand about the dangers of the microwave. While at work, a friendly neighbor asked me if I wanted a cookie. Apparently they had a whole tin full of homemade goodies. That they froze to keep fresh. Of course me being a fat kid, I pounced on the opportunity to spoil my lunch and said yes. I chose a huge oatmeal raisin pecan one. "Just nuke it in the microwave," said the nice neighbor. "Ok, will do." She left the kitchen and I promptly put the frozen cookie on a plate and hit 30 seconds. The center of the cookie was inflated and warm but the rest of it was cold as a rock. So I figured, ok 2 minutes. Then the entire cookie should be warm and gooey and yummy. Right?
Wrong. About halfway into my allotted time, I noticed "steam" coming from the cookie. So I stopped the time at after a minute, thinking it probably just needed to air out. Nope. Apparently one of the raisins in the center of the cookie decided to burn. I literally had a smoke signal coming out of the center of my cookie. Panicked, because I didn't want anyone to see or smell my burning cookie, I blew as fast as I could, thinking it would just stop smoking. No such luck. Then I decided to stick my finger on top of the burnt raisin. And promptly learned that it was too hot and burned my index finger. Finally, I decided to just run out of the front doors, cookie and plate in hand, and wait outside for it to cool off. After all, it was only like oh, 15 degrees out. After standing outside freezing for what seemed like forever, but in reality was only two minutes, I snuck back into the office. I didn't even smell any smoke.
I congratulated myself on a job well done. That is until lunchtime came around and I needed to heat up my soup. When I opened the microwave door, I totally smelled my burnt cookie. Oops.
Wrong. About halfway into my allotted time, I noticed "steam" coming from the cookie. So I stopped the time at after a minute, thinking it probably just needed to air out. Nope. Apparently one of the raisins in the center of the cookie decided to burn. I literally had a smoke signal coming out of the center of my cookie. Panicked, because I didn't want anyone to see or smell my burning cookie, I blew as fast as I could, thinking it would just stop smoking. No such luck. Then I decided to stick my finger on top of the burnt raisin. And promptly learned that it was too hot and burned my index finger. Finally, I decided to just run out of the front doors, cookie and plate in hand, and wait outside for it to cool off. After all, it was only like oh, 15 degrees out. After standing outside freezing for what seemed like forever, but in reality was only two minutes, I snuck back into the office. I didn't even smell any smoke.
I congratulated myself on a job well done. That is until lunchtime came around and I needed to heat up my soup. When I opened the microwave door, I totally smelled my burnt cookie. Oops.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Don't make me think
Sometimes I really don't like to think, ya know, because it takes too much effort. So, when I'm not thinking, I find I say some of the stupidest things ever. This past weekend I was full of dumb remarks. Don't judge.
This past weekend, when we were all working on fixing my brakes, this guy Aaron moved the portable heater near my car.
Me: What're you doing?
Him: Moving the heat closer.
Me: That's not going to melt my car is it?
(Yeah, like I said, I don't think.)
My mom was making me clean the house after she made me breakfast over the weekend.
Mom: Get the black one out of the closet.
Me: The black one? *I hold up the broom*
Mom: Yeah, that.
Me: What's this called again? I know it sweeps...it's not a sweeper though, right?
Mom: It's a broom you idiot!
(In my defense, I had slept for 10 hours the night before...maybe I had too much sleep)
My brother let me borrow his iTouch to Google the number of the tire place.
Me: Ok, I found it. How do you zoom in?
Him: Why do you need to zoom in?
Me: Oh I wanted to zoom in so I could just click the number and call them.
Him: *pauses* You know this isn't an iphone, right? It's an itouch. You can't call from it. That's why you need a real phone...You thought it was a phone didn't you?
Me: Uh, no....
(I don't get out much, what can I say?)
Maybe I should start thinking...do you say stupid stuff like I do?
This past weekend, when we were all working on fixing my brakes, this guy Aaron moved the portable heater near my car.
Me: What're you doing?
Him: Moving the heat closer.
Me: That's not going to melt my car is it?
(Yeah, like I said, I don't think.)
My mom was making me clean the house after she made me breakfast over the weekend.
Mom: Get the black one out of the closet.
Me: The black one? *I hold up the broom*
Mom: Yeah, that.
Me: What's this called again? I know it sweeps...it's not a sweeper though, right?
Mom: It's a broom you idiot!
(In my defense, I had slept for 10 hours the night before...maybe I had too much sleep)
My brother let me borrow his iTouch to Google the number of the tire place.
Me: Ok, I found it. How do you zoom in?
Him: Why do you need to zoom in?
Me: Oh I wanted to zoom in so I could just click the number and call them.
Him: *pauses* You know this isn't an iphone, right? It's an itouch. You can't call from it. That's why you need a real phone...You thought it was a phone didn't you?
Me: Uh, no....
(I don't get out much, what can I say?)
Maybe I should start thinking...do you say stupid stuff like I do?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Weekend Recap
I really don't even have to divide up the days this past weekend, because I seriously didn't do too much. Friday night, while I was tempted to go to bed at 8pm, I made it till 10pm, thanks to my book, The Men's Guide to the Women's Bathroom.
On Saturday, I literally spent hours working on my car with my uncle. You see, I did something stupid. I figured that I needed my rear brakes replaced, because winter is coming and I hate driving in the snow. So, I spent the $17 to get rear brake shoes (see, i'm so smart about my car, I even know the right words for the parts!) and took them apart, to figure out that they really didn't need to be replaced, BUT me being me, said to my uncle, "Well, I just want to make sure everything is done, I don't wanna call you up in the middle of the snow and beg you to fix something," to which he replied, "Yeah, we already have these...I've never done it before, but we might as well." Um, famous last words kids.
We were there until 11:25pm in the freakin dark freezing our asses off trying to fix the brakes. It took three men, a 12 pack of Coors Light, an adjustable light, and a portable heater to fix the gosh darn things. Then, I took it for a spin, you know, after we "fixed" them...to find out that it's not fixed. How did I know that? Oh, you know that thing, that you use when you park your car on a hill...what's that called?....ohhh, a PARKING BRAKE. Well, that DIDN'T WORK. Nope, that's a BAD sign. So I risked my life and my brothers and drove slowly home on Saturday. Then I went to bed, but didn't sleep well due to the beer and my room was freaking freezing. Like, I wore a robe, my fuzzy socks, my pjs, a hoodie, a blanket, and a comforter, and finally put on some gloves, and then I could sleep, only to wake up in the middle of the night because I was too hot. Men: it really is true, women are never satisfied.
Sunday I woke up to breakfast, watched The Proposal, complained about how my car was messed up, drove over to my uncle's, watched my cousin while he worked on my car, and spent most of the day there. I am proud to say that I know how to fix my rear brakes now, and they do work. But, now whenever I drive, I feel like my tire is all wobbly. FML.
I'm totally going to Brakes Plus this week to get a professional to look at it. And I'm going to buy some new tires on the black market. Oh, and did I mention that after all of that lovely car stuff, I came home, got in a fight with my mom (see tomorrow's post) and then stormed out of the house and went to church so I wouldn't kill her. And then I came home to find out that my mom had volunteered me (without asking of course) to drive my brother back up to school, which is about an hour each way. At like 9 o'clock at night. LOVELY. When I finally got home at like 11, I was just about to fall asleep when I got a freakin' drunk dial from Special Agent. Luckily I only listened to him for 6 minutes and 5 seconds before I feigned sleep and hung up on him. The highlight of my night though was getting to snuggle with my doggie:
Whew, I feel better already, thanks for listening to me vent. How was your weekend?
On Saturday, I literally spent hours working on my car with my uncle. You see, I did something stupid. I figured that I needed my rear brakes replaced, because winter is coming and I hate driving in the snow. So, I spent the $17 to get rear brake shoes (see, i'm so smart about my car, I even know the right words for the parts!) and took them apart, to figure out that they really didn't need to be replaced, BUT me being me, said to my uncle, "Well, I just want to make sure everything is done, I don't wanna call you up in the middle of the snow and beg you to fix something," to which he replied, "Yeah, we already have these...I've never done it before, but we might as well." Um, famous last words kids.
We were there until 11:25pm in the freakin dark freezing our asses off trying to fix the brakes. It took three men, a 12 pack of Coors Light, an adjustable light, and a portable heater to fix the gosh darn things. Then, I took it for a spin, you know, after we "fixed" them...to find out that it's not fixed. How did I know that? Oh, you know that thing, that you use when you park your car on a hill...what's that called?....ohhh, a PARKING BRAKE. Well, that DIDN'T WORK. Nope, that's a BAD sign. So I risked my life and my brothers and drove slowly home on Saturday. Then I went to bed, but didn't sleep well due to the beer and my room was freaking freezing. Like, I wore a robe, my fuzzy socks, my pjs, a hoodie, a blanket, and a comforter, and finally put on some gloves, and then I could sleep, only to wake up in the middle of the night because I was too hot. Men: it really is true, women are never satisfied.
Sunday I woke up to breakfast, watched The Proposal, complained about how my car was messed up, drove over to my uncle's, watched my cousin while he worked on my car, and spent most of the day there. I am proud to say that I know how to fix my rear brakes now, and they do work. But, now whenever I drive, I feel like my tire is all wobbly. FML.
I'm totally going to Brakes Plus this week to get a professional to look at it. And I'm going to buy some new tires on the black market. Oh, and did I mention that after all of that lovely car stuff, I came home, got in a fight with my mom (see tomorrow's post) and then stormed out of the house and went to church so I wouldn't kill her. And then I came home to find out that my mom had volunteered me (without asking of course) to drive my brother back up to school, which is about an hour each way. At like 9 o'clock at night. LOVELY. When I finally got home at like 11, I was just about to fall asleep when I got a freakin' drunk dial from Special Agent. Luckily I only listened to him for 6 minutes and 5 seconds before I feigned sleep and hung up on him. The highlight of my night though was getting to snuggle with my doggie:
Whew, I feel better already, thanks for listening to me vent. How was your weekend?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Bad Habits
There's just something about being connected to technology that makes me sorta kinda addicted to it. At work, I'm constantly on gchat, and checking Twitter. I log onto Facebook daily, except for the weekends. So, when I'm not at work, I do the next best thing I can do--I text. Which leads me to my bad habit confession today: I text while driving. I KNOW, I'm so so so bad, right? Eeeks.
I shouldn't do it. I know that. I know it's not safe. I know that people have caused accidents by texting or just being on their cell phones in general. I know that, yet, it hasn't happened to me, so I continue to do it. Until now. As of today, I'm going to stop this bad habit, because I need to put my safety first. A text can wait. Don't get me wrong, it will be hard not to reach over and steal a quick glance at my phone to see who it was from or what it says when I hear the double beep of my cell phone going off. But I can't do it anymore. Nope, it's not a good thing. Plus, maybe it'll help me become less addicted to responding instantaneously. Maybe I'll start listening to the radio again. Or better yet, use that extra 20 minutes to reflect on my day, something I rarely do anymore.
What are your bad habits?
I shouldn't do it. I know that. I know it's not safe. I know that people have caused accidents by texting or just being on their cell phones in general. I know that, yet, it hasn't happened to me, so I continue to do it. Until now. As of today, I'm going to stop this bad habit, because I need to put my safety first. A text can wait. Don't get me wrong, it will be hard not to reach over and steal a quick glance at my phone to see who it was from or what it says when I hear the double beep of my cell phone going off. But I can't do it anymore. Nope, it's not a good thing. Plus, maybe it'll help me become less addicted to responding instantaneously. Maybe I'll start listening to the radio again. Or better yet, use that extra 20 minutes to reflect on my day, something I rarely do anymore.
What are your bad habits?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Stupid Things I do
It's been awhile since I've posted about all the stupid stuff I do, so here's a new list for your pure entertainment.
1. The other day I totally got off at the wrong bus stop. I walked all the way to the other side of the parking lot before I realized my car wasn't there.
{Side note: This must run in the family, because two weekends ago, my mom went to Kohl's. She went outside to get in her car, but it wasn't there. She came back into the store, telling the clerk she needed to dial 911 because someone must have stolen her car, when the clerk said, "Didn't you enter on the other side of the store?" Sure enough, her car was there, right where she left it.}
2. Emailing without thinking. Since I didn't call Alex, I thought, oh, I'll be all cute and coy, and e-mail him, after all, he did give me his business card. So I emailed him from my work e-mail, because I was worried if I used my personal e-mail that it would go to his junk folder. Well, that was a big mistake, because I neglected to ERASE MY EMAIL SIGNATURE which of course has my work phone number, as well as my work address. Alex called me before he left work for the day and said, "Oh yea I saw on your email that you work really close to me. Sometime I'd like to see your office." *cringe* I can't believe I didn't think to delete my email signature. So so stupid. So much for being coy. Now he knows where I work. FML.
3. Months ago I read about Pioneer Woman's shiny hair, and learned that she uses vinegar to achieve such shine. I thought to myself, I need to try that. I read her instructions, but glossed over the fact that she added essential oil to hers. Meh, I don't have that, and I am too lazy and cheap to buy lavender oil, I'll just use it straight. Um, bad idea. Even though I washed my hair twice, my hair smelled like rotten eggs for the rest of the week. Next time, I am totally following instructions.
4. Tweeting inappropriate things. I manage our Twitter at work, and so we get handfuls of new followers everyday. Of course I just copy and paste their twitter name, and then tweet saying "welcome...." Well, today I did what I always do, copied and pasted. When I checked to see if anyone had replied to us, I got a nasty tweet saying "Hey there - are you reading what you are forwarding? One has nothing to do with fine art. You welcomed low life." Turns out one of our new "followers" was Makenzie Dixon (esopussyeater2). Um, oops?
5. When I went shopping at Kohl's a few weeks ago, before I hit the check out line, I saw jewelry. I checked out some really ugly looking earrings, and then I saw an entire wall of rings. I looked around, and then silently tried on a cubic zirconium. And.it.got.stuck! I silently freaked out. Not only because I put it on my ring finger, but because I didn't want it there. It was way too much. Thank god I just kept twisting, and it finally came off. Whew. Crisis averted.
Have you done anything stupid lately?
1. The other day I totally got off at the wrong bus stop. I walked all the way to the other side of the parking lot before I realized my car wasn't there.
{Side note: This must run in the family, because two weekends ago, my mom went to Kohl's. She went outside to get in her car, but it wasn't there. She came back into the store, telling the clerk she needed to dial 911 because someone must have stolen her car, when the clerk said, "Didn't you enter on the other side of the store?" Sure enough, her car was there, right where she left it.}
2. Emailing without thinking. Since I didn't call Alex, I thought, oh, I'll be all cute and coy, and e-mail him, after all, he did give me his business card. So I emailed him from my work e-mail, because I was worried if I used my personal e-mail that it would go to his junk folder. Well, that was a big mistake, because I neglected to ERASE MY EMAIL SIGNATURE which of course has my work phone number, as well as my work address. Alex called me before he left work for the day and said, "Oh yea I saw on your email that you work really close to me. Sometime I'd like to see your office." *cringe* I can't believe I didn't think to delete my email signature. So so stupid. So much for being coy. Now he knows where I work. FML.
3. Months ago I read about Pioneer Woman's shiny hair, and learned that she uses vinegar to achieve such shine. I thought to myself, I need to try that. I read her instructions, but glossed over the fact that she added essential oil to hers. Meh, I don't have that, and I am too lazy and cheap to buy lavender oil, I'll just use it straight. Um, bad idea. Even though I washed my hair twice, my hair smelled like rotten eggs for the rest of the week. Next time, I am totally following instructions.
4. Tweeting inappropriate things. I manage our Twitter at work, and so we get handfuls of new followers everyday. Of course I just copy and paste their twitter name, and then tweet saying "welcome...." Well, today I did what I always do, copied and pasted. When I checked to see if anyone had replied to us, I got a nasty tweet saying "Hey there - are you reading what you are forwarding? One has nothing to do with fine art. You welcomed low life." Turns out one of our new "followers" was Makenzie Dixon (esopussyeater2). Um, oops?
5. When I went shopping at Kohl's a few weeks ago, before I hit the check out line, I saw jewelry. I checked out some really ugly looking earrings, and then I saw an entire wall of rings. I looked around, and then silently tried on a cubic zirconium. And.it.got.stuck! I silently freaked out. Not only because I put it on my ring finger, but because I didn't want it there. It was way too much. Thank god I just kept twisting, and it finally came off. Whew. Crisis averted.
Have you done anything stupid lately?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Wrong side of the bed
I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today. Or maybe it was that I actually woke up at 5:30 a.m. this morning from a really bad dream. In the dream, I had two minutes until my job interview and my mom and M were with me. M drove us there. Anyways, we're on the fourth floor of this building walking around when my mom decides she has to pee. I am so frustrated with her because she's going to make me late! I can't be late! Then as she's about done, I decide since I'm going to in the interview for an hour, I have to go pee too. Only, there's a long ass line and turns out I'm in a doctor's office, and everyone in line has to pee in a cup. So I say, screw it, I'll be fine. I see a girl and ask her where the third floor is, and thankfully she says it's just downstairs. So maybe I will make it on time, I think to myself. Then my mom emerges from the bathroom, and says "You didn't do your hair! You look like shit." That is when I realize my hair isn't even combed, it's still in a ponytail and I didn't put on any makeup. FML.
Bad dream, I know. I think I'm full of hate today because I'm stressed. I'm stressed out about my job interview tomorrow. I don't know what I'm wearing, and I ran out of time to perfect my hair today. I know what you're thinking--just do it tonight, right? Well, no. That's not gonna work because I'm going to be at the murder mystery play with Steve until 9:30. So I probably won't get home till 10pm. Oh well, it has to get done. As for as outfits, I'm going with either the black-pants-with-blazer number or a fancy skirt with a black blazer. and heels. and unlike my dream, my hair will be perfect and I will have makeup on.
I'm also stressed because I've lost something very important to me. It's like gold. It's like my eco pass, which is a yearly bus pass that I get for free from work. And I've lost it. Er, misplaced it. Dude, I don't know. But I know that I very rarely ever ever ever lose shit and I'm frustrated that I can find it. I know I had it for sure on Friday, because it was with my Costco card that is also missing. I know that I have to find it. I've torn my room apart, it's not there. Looked in my car. Not there. Looked in my mom's car. Not there. Ugh! I have to find it. Emphasis on the have, ok? I did email the bus guy I know to see what I would have to do to replace it if it came to that, so that's positive. And it's positive that I do have a car, so I can drive this week if need be. I just hate losing things.
Have you lost anything recently or just want to bitch like me? Go for it.
Bad dream, I know. I think I'm full of hate today because I'm stressed. I'm stressed out about my job interview tomorrow. I don't know what I'm wearing, and I ran out of time to perfect my hair today. I know what you're thinking--just do it tonight, right? Well, no. That's not gonna work because I'm going to be at the murder mystery play with Steve until 9:30. So I probably won't get home till 10pm. Oh well, it has to get done. As for as outfits, I'm going with either the black-pants-with-blazer number or a fancy skirt with a black blazer. and heels. and unlike my dream, my hair will be perfect and I will have makeup on.
I'm also stressed because I've lost something very important to me. It's like gold. It's like my eco pass, which is a yearly bus pass that I get for free from work. And I've lost it. Er, misplaced it. Dude, I don't know. But I know that I very rarely ever ever ever lose shit and I'm frustrated that I can find it. I know I had it for sure on Friday, because it was with my Costco card that is also missing. I know that I have to find it. I've torn my room apart, it's not there. Looked in my car. Not there. Looked in my mom's car. Not there. Ugh! I have to find it. Emphasis on the have, ok? I did email the bus guy I know to see what I would have to do to replace it if it came to that, so that's positive. And it's positive that I do have a car, so I can drive this week if need be. I just hate losing things.
Have you lost anything recently or just want to bitch like me? Go for it.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Oh dear
Today was one of those days. I woke up at the absurd time of 7:40 a.m. due to the dog barking and my brother shouting at the top of his lungs about not going to his football game and my mom trying to bribe him with breakfast. After finally admitting defeat and getting out of bed, I went to the 9news Health Fair to get my blood work done. That was productive, and then went to breakfast with my mom at the Egg & I where I saw this girl from grade school! I didn't even recognize her, but apparently she knew me right away. Once she told me her name and how she knew me, memories came flooding back. She looks alot different now; apparently I must look the same cuz she said she knew it was me from the minute I stepped in the restaurant. Go figure.
Anyways, after breakfast I rushed home and got ready because I thought today was the day I was going to the college fair. Syracuse asked me and K to volunteer, and I thought it was today. Yea, key word there is thought. I arrived early, then walked all over campus to try and find signs saying college fair. I couldn't find anything, except a huge swim meet happening. Then it was 1, and I freaked out because I HATE being late, so I frantically called K like three times, left three different messages, still no answer. Then I got my mom to look up the email for me with the location. Well, turns out it's TOMORROW. Yeah, I'm a big idiot. At least I know where it will be now, and I won't be late tomorrow. But still, this is so me. Only I would have the wrong day. While this doesn't happen alot, it has happened in the past. Especially this one time when I was looking for jobs after graduation. I totally missed an interview. I wrote down the wrong day, and they even called to see if I had forgotten, and I admitted I had the wrong day. It was embarrassing, unprofessional, and yea, I never got that job nor another interview.
At least the rest of the day will be spent being productive-cleaning out my car and doing laundry.
Anyways, after breakfast I rushed home and got ready because I thought today was the day I was going to the college fair. Syracuse asked me and K to volunteer, and I thought it was today. Yea, key word there is thought. I arrived early, then walked all over campus to try and find signs saying college fair. I couldn't find anything, except a huge swim meet happening. Then it was 1, and I freaked out because I HATE being late, so I frantically called K like three times, left three different messages, still no answer. Then I got my mom to look up the email for me with the location. Well, turns out it's TOMORROW. Yeah, I'm a big idiot. At least I know where it will be now, and I won't be late tomorrow. But still, this is so me. Only I would have the wrong day. While this doesn't happen alot, it has happened in the past. Especially this one time when I was looking for jobs after graduation. I totally missed an interview. I wrote down the wrong day, and they even called to see if I had forgotten, and I admitted I had the wrong day. It was embarrassing, unprofessional, and yea, I never got that job nor another interview.
At least the rest of the day will be spent being productive-cleaning out my car and doing laundry.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Only I would...
Only I would wake up at 6 a.m. to rush over to my parent's house, to get my brother up, to take him over to my aunt's who will take him to school, to drive fast and make it to work by 7:55 a.m.... only to discover that there is no webinar today, and I'm the only person in the office right now. Lovely.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Stupid Things I do
I needed gas this morning so instead of going to the first gas station I saw, which had gas for $1.79, I chose to go to the one across the street, figuring that they were all the same price since they were literally across the street from each other. NOT. I had to get a full tank of gas--which was $1.89. Figures, my stupidity.
Secondly, I had to get air to put in my tire. It was .75 cents, right? Well, I put in .75 cents to have the air not automatically turn on, so I put in another quarter thinking that would help. Right after I put in my last quarter, I noticed there was a button that read AIR. Ugh, I'm so stupid sometimes.
Update: Just heard from my mom that my Dad had to talk in front of 200-400 top execs in China and he was the only one not wearing a suit because he didn't bring one. Guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree folks.
Update #2: I fwded myself an email from my personal email to my work account to get this reply:
In honor of Presidents Day, I am out of the office. I will return on Tuesday, February 17.
Thanks
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I've had my out of office reply up until 2 minutes ago. This day just keeps gettin better.
Secondly, I had to get air to put in my tire. It was .75 cents, right? Well, I put in .75 cents to have the air not automatically turn on, so I put in another quarter thinking that would help. Right after I put in my last quarter, I noticed there was a button that read AIR. Ugh, I'm so stupid sometimes.
Update: Just heard from my mom that my Dad had to talk in front of 200-400 top execs in China and he was the only one not wearing a suit because he didn't bring one. Guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree folks.
Update #2: I fwded myself an email from my personal email to my work account to get this reply:
In honor of Presidents Day, I am out of the office. I will return on Tuesday, February 17.
Thanks
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I've had my out of office reply up until 2 minutes ago. This day just keeps gettin better.
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