Thursday, October 29, 2009

Blog Swap: If I lived in Colorado

Hey everyone, 
Today I'm swapping posts with the coolest Aussie I know, Kez, from And So I was Thinking... We might be on the opposite ends of the world, but we're both going through the quarter life crisis! Yay! You can check out my entry on her blog. Enjoy!! 

Well, hey there! I am so honoured to be a guest blogger for the 20 Something Bloggers Blog Swap - mouthful, much? My name is Kez and all you need to know about me is that I live in Australia, I'm the biggest dork you'll ever know and my quarter life crisis is rumbling along nicely.

Soooo...Courtney (you know - the awesome chick that owns this blog) has so kindly let me invade her wonderful writings with my crazy ramblings!

As you may know, Courtney is from Colorado. A place I know very little about. The only time I really hear about Colorado is when my parents start sentences with, "When we were in Colorado..." Which of course makes my blood boil, because I am so jealous of their midlife overseas travels and their over the top braggery (don't know if that's a word - too late now). Yes, apparently my mum once caught the eye contact of Carlos Santana while he dined in a cafe in Colorado. She claims she wasn't starstruck, but I know the truth. Her CD and itunes collection tells me so. Random, huh?

I know that there are these things called the Rockies. Are they rocks? Mountains? Rocky mountains? Well, whaddya know! This concerns me because I am clumsy and a bit funny with heights. I might not last longer than a couple of months. You know, because of the whole possibility of me falling off a cliff while hiking or something.

My hubby just reminded me that "South Park is from there". Which brings me to my next point. South Park is awesome. But probably not helpful so much in the way of PR and stuff.
I won't hold that against anyone.

If I went to Colorado (or even lived there), I would make sure to wear Colorado footwear and drive a Holden Colorado (imported from my fine country of Australia). I would also probably attend that university they have that is named after a giant rock. Boulder. Which I find to be a scary metaphor for how I feel about my university at the's like a boulder chasing me down and threatening to squish me before I make it out the other end...oops, I have a bit of university baggage right now...

So I totally googled celebrities who are from Colorado...quite the list. I would probably hang out with Matt Stone and Trey Parker (yep - back on the whole Southpark thing), but maybe not so much Bill Murray or Roseanne Barr.

I would sit around (probably on a rocky outcrop somewhere) and sing John Denver songs badly, while playing guitar equally as badly. Although I am disappointed that his real name was Henry Deutschendorf Jr (Wikipedia - dashing blogger's dreams for decades). Doesn't have the same ring to it. I only know John Denver songs because my dad used to be a fan. We used to have to endure roadtrips around Australia with everyone in the car singing, "Countrrrryyyy roaaaddds, taaa-aake me hooooome, tooo a place..." at the top of their lungs. I figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

So as you can see, my knowledge of Colorado is just really crap. I've probably offended the locals. Perhaps I really do need to get there one day. If only to stop my parents from starting their sentences with, "When we were in Colorado...and you were not..."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Boys & Girls

Can boys and girls just be friends?

I'm gonna say no. But I want to say yes. I want to believe that it's possible. I've told myself before how I've wanted a guy friend or two to hang out with, to do things with around town when my girl friends are busy. But I know in order for two people to be friends they have to be on the same page. And while it might start off right, it doesn't end right. Nope, either the girl likes the guy or the guy likes the girl. It just happens. It's like inevitable.

My friend Self-Absorbed, has a guy friend. But he likes her. He's invited her to fly to Canada to see him. She tells me all the time over gchat how he's such a stalker, and how she keeps telling him no, that doesn't like him, etc etc. Until today. Today apparently she thinks that she can go visit him "as a friend." "I know nothing will happen, I trust him. And I miss him when he's not online." Um, you miss the attention sweetie, not the boy. I told her how that's not a good idea, because even if he says they are just friends, he will take her visiting him to heart. And she's a flirt. So you know nothing good can come of this. I hope she listens.

Giving her advice has got me thinking about my boys. I found out Alex is 37. He wanted me to friend him on facebook, so I did. But now that I know his age, I don't want to hang out with him. And of course when I decided this last week, what happens? He asks me out to lunch on Monday. Thankfully work has been super busy this week so I had a legitimate excuse to say no. But 37? I mean, just the mention of his age makes me intimidated. I wouldn't even know what to say around him, especially because he's very soft-spoken. I mean, I don't see any attraction to him anyways, so I would be friends with him, but  still--37? No thanks.

Special Agent and I are still friends, but after my trip to see him a couple of weekends ago, I think there's potential for more than friends. I don't want that, and he doesn't either. But...if we were both in the same city, at the same time, and both single...wellll....I wouldn't discount us going out a time or two. So, that proves it, I can't be friends with boys, even if I tell myself that's what I want.

What do you think? Do you think boys and girls can just be friends? Cuz I'm thinkin' no...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Weekend Recap

Friday- Had an awesome night out with M. We went downtown and ate at Tony's Meat Market. I had their salad, which has strawberries, feta cheese, romaine lettuce, roasted chicken, and some candied walnuts. So so good. M had margarita pizza which she liked; we shared a pitcher of beer, listened to live music, and caught up on life. After dinner, we walked back to her place, and decided to rent a movie, so she drove us to Safeway where we loaded up on snacks. We rented the Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past. It was okay. I'm glad I saw it so I can now say I've seen it, but I definitely wouldn't watch it again and I'm glad I rented it.

Saturday- I slept in. I had like the best night's sleep ever. I finally woke up around 11:30, then hung around the house. In the afternoon, I headed over to my uncle's party, where I ate a bunch of good food and had cake! And of course saw my lil cousin and family. It was good times. When I got home I didn't feel like doing much, so I paid some bills online and cleaned my room. Oh, and my mom made me watch an episode of Oprah where they talk about hoarders because she thinks I am one. I think not. Clearly.

Today- I slept in till 9:30, got up, watched Real Housewives of Atlanta, Project Runway, and one episode of Brothers and Sisters. I took my brother to his basketball game, and then sat back on the couch again. I haven't changed out of my pajamas today either. I'm just tired and lazy. I don't want to do a darn thing except sit on the couch and watch tv or sleep or lay in bed and read. Yeah...not really a productive day, but oh well. I know tomorrow is going to blow work-wise because I have like a weeks worth of work to do in oh, 8 hours.

How was your weekend?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Bad Habits

There's just something about being connected to technology that makes me sorta kinda addicted to it. At work, I'm constantly on gchat, and checking Twitter. I log onto Facebook daily, except for the weekends. So, when I'm not at work, I do the next best thing I can do--I text. Which leads me to my bad habit confession today: I text while driving. I KNOW, I'm so so so bad, right? Eeeks.

I shouldn't do it. I know that. I know it's not safe. I know that people have caused accidents by texting or just being on their cell phones in general. I know that, yet, it hasn't happened to me, so I continue to do it. Until now. As of today, I'm going to stop this bad habit, because I need to put my safety first. A text can wait. Don't get me wrong, it will be hard not to reach over and steal a quick glance at my phone to see who it was from or what it says when I hear the double beep of my cell phone going off. But I can't do it anymore. Nope, it's not a good thing. Plus, maybe it'll help me become less addicted to responding instantaneously. Maybe I'll start listening to the radio again. Or better yet, use that extra 20 minutes to reflect on my day, something I rarely do anymore.

What are your bad habits?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Home Sweet Home

This weekend I went to the East Coast. I had an early flight on Saturday, and because of the crappy weather we had here--snow and ice--my flight was an hour late leaving because we had to de-ice the plane. I was supposed to catch a connecting flight from Philly to Burlington, but my flight seriously landed at the same time my connecting flight was supposed to leave. Ironically, I was very calm. I've never missed a flight before, but really, there was nothing I could do about it. And I kept thinking about how I was safe, and how it was important to de-ice the plane. When I got off the plane, the gate agent handed me my new ticket, but that flight didn't leave Philly till 8:35pm, and we had landed at 1:35. So...I did the next best thing. I went to the customer service counter and asked if they had an earlier flight. Unfortunately, they didn't have any earlier non-stop flights, but if I was willing, they could put me on a flight from Philly to D.C., and then to Burlington, arriving at 7. I figured, what do I have to lose? And took it.

When I got to the airport, I was so nervous to see Special Agent and his bff. But I forged on, and finally found them. He put my luggage away for me and his bff let me have the front seat. Classy. Then we went to dinner at an Italian place called Three Tomatoes, where we had awesome wine, conversation, and food. I was still nervous but it was okay, nothing was awkward. And it seemed like Special Agent and his bff had put in some effort for the night. They even planned to have a bonfire outside his house with the neighbors. After dinner, we started drinking beer and watched tv. His neighbors tried to start a bonfire, but that failed. I'm not sure why--I was just content drinking Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer and sitting on the couch. Anyways, we headed next door and I met his neighbors and other people. We sat around playing drinking games and watching tv. His neighbors also had the cutest dogs ever. I don't remember what types, but they were all so friendly and loved to sit and cuddle with you. I had a great time, and I remembered why I was able to drink 3-4 beers while I was in college--there's no altitude there--which actually made me feel young again. Plus, the next day when I woke up, I wasn't even hungover! No headaches, just the dry mouth.

I woke up early, and Special Agent drove me to get my rental car. I ended up upgrading to a Subaru. It was decent. I did miss a few turns on my way to New Hampshire, so it took me about 3 hours to get there instead of the 2.5 hours that google quoted me. But I have to say, the scenery was so gorgeous. So picturesque. I even stopped a few times to whip out my camera and take pictures.

I would say the biggest difference between fall in Colorado and fall in Vermont/New Hampshire is the colors of the trees. Our trees are mostly green and yellow. The trees out there are red, orange, even purple, and yellow and green. It was just so so beautiful. And I was so happy to see my bff and her fiancee. They are seriously so adorable, and unlike some couples that I just can't stand to be around, I never ever felt like the third wheel with them. In fact, seeing them, makes me ten times more excited for their wedding next year.

On Sunday, I drove along with my bff and her fiancee, to Mt. Washington. Two other cars of people joined us. We were gonna drive the 8 miles up to the top, but they had closed half of it due to snow and ice. So we didn't end up doing that. We drove to Wildcat Mountain to zip line, but they didn't have any reservations open until 3:30, and we didn't wanna wait. So we drove around so more, and ended up at Diana's Bath, where we hiked about half a mile and took pictures of the waterfall and the trees. It was really great to be outside and stretch my legs, and time just seemed to pass so slowly there. It was quiet and peaceful, and just beautiful. That night we ate lemon chicken and bowtie pasta, and even stopped at a Dairy Queen along the way, where we snacked on french fries. My bff had never been there before, so of course we had to go.

I woke up early on Monday morning, said goodbye to the people who were up, and made it to Vermont in 2 hours. It's amazing how much time I saved on the way back by following the directions. When I got back, I thought maybe I would have time to go apple picking and do breakfast but I honestly was so tired, that I just let it go. I know this entire weekend I was looking forward to picking apples, but it just felt forced. Instead I snuggled with Special Agent, filled him in on my New Hampshire adventures, and said goodbye to his bff, who left us alone. Special Agent and I drove to downtown Burlington, past the University of Vermont (which has a gorgeous campus, btw) and ate at Henry's Diner where the food was cheap but so so good. I had homefries! I know, it's the little things that excite me in life. After breakfast, I returned my car, and Special Agent took me to the airport. I made it back home safe and sound, but I still miss the East Coast. *sigh* Guess I'll just have to go back again next fall.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Ready for an adventure?

So here's the update regarding this weekend. I feel like in the past 24 hours, I have made some progress. For one thing, I no longer hate Special Agent so much that I want his balls on a silver platter. It's amazing what ignoring his phone calls and threatening voicemails, reading a book, and taking a shower, can do.

Yesterday we didn't talk. We did text, because we're immature like that. Basically he was just acting like a big jerk, at one point he actually texted me that it was no big deal that I'm coming up there, "it's not like it's a romantic weekend. we're just friends." Um, right. Okay. Whatever. Eventually I was just so irritated that I simply stopped answering him. I ignored his texts, and he called twice, leaving a message somewhere along the lines of...

"Hey I hope you call me back, this is getting silly. Sorry you're upset, I didn't realize him coming up would bother you. There's not much I can do about it now. Not to be mean, but snap out of this so we can have a good time because I won't enjoy myself and you won't either. This is shitty we both spent money to not have a good time. It's up to you, it's all based on you, but give me a call if you want. Bye."
That mean voicemail just made me even more upset. I went home, grabbed myself some Taco Bell for dinner, read an entire book in bed, and then took a relaxing shower. I didn't even check my phone. I knew what I needed was space and time. Space to calm down, and time to figure out what I want to do. It was a very productive evening to say the least.

This morning I woke up with a better outlook. I wasn't angry anymore but I also wasn't ready to call him back, especially after what he said yesterday. He called me as I was getting ready for work. Normally I would've answered, but today I put myself first. He left another message.
"Hey I'm sorry for yesterday, I was angry. There's a lot of stuff going on at work. I can't blame you for not answering. I can't just ask my best friend not to show up. I haven't seen him in 3 months. I told him how you wanted it to be just you and me and he's already made plans. I don't know what you wanna do but I want you to come, but if you don't want to, then I don't want that. Maybe you can use the tickets as a credit. Tell them that the person you were going to see passed away or something. I was trying to come up with ideas last night. I still want you to come but not if you don't want to because then that would suck and I don't want that. I don't know, please text or call so I can help you out or maybe get things ready. The house is fairly big, there's plenty of room for three's up to you. Bye."
First off, I know it was at the end of August that he last saw his bff, because he drunk dialed me. Second, I won't lie about someone dying. Talk about bad karma. After reading everyone's comments and talking with my bff, I did eventually text him back with my plan of attack.

Thanks to the iNDefatigable mjenks for his suggestion that I split my time between Special Agent and my bff. That's basically what I'm going to do. On Saturday, I'm going to meet his bff, and then we'll all go see the leaves, and go apple picking, and probably break bread together in some form or another. I'll stay with Special Agent. He said I can have his bed; him and his bff will take the couches. I wasn't aware he had more than one couch, but whatever. Then on Sunday morning, I'll wake up really early, have SA drive me to the airport where I'm renting a car. Then I'll drive 2.5 hours to where my bff will be in NH. I will spend the day with her, her fiancee, and his family. I'll stay with them Sunday night. On Monday morning, I'll spend the morning to myself, then drive back to Vermont. Then I'll have brunch with SA alone, say our goodbyes, and then drive myself to the airport where I'll return the rental car, and then hop on a plane to come home.

I am actually excited now, because I'll be getting to do the things that I want to do. Plus, who doesn't love an adventure? It seems like this always happens to me, and everytime I just go off on my own, just like I did earlier with my Seattle trip. Either way I'm gonna survive! Yay! Thanks again to everyone who commented! 

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Crash & Burn....

Seriously, what a mess. Why do I get myself into these situations with boys? You're probably wondering what the heck I'm whining about. My Vermont trip. You know, the one that is THIS WEEKEND? Yeah, that one. Ahem.

Special Agent called me last night as I was on my way home from picking up dinner for my family. His cell phone reception sucks, so I heard every other word. But he dropped a lot of things on me last night, the first one being that his best friend Danny, who happens to be gay, is also coming up this weekend. Apparently Special Agent can't afford to go down to Boston to visit him for his birthday or something, and so Danny is coming up. Which leads me to the next thing he asked me..."He's staying here too, so you can either have the couch while I share a bed with him or we can share the bed and he can take the couch." Um, what? I thought we were just friends. Friends don't share beds together. So I said, "oh, okay. I'll think about it." I mean, what else was I gonna say?

Then he says that it's going to be crappy weather on Sunday, so he thinks right after I get off the plane we should go for a drive and take pictures of the trees and then go apple picking later that day. I was okay with that. "And on Sunday, there's the Broncos game which is gonna be HUGE, so my coworkers want to come over and watch it. That's okay, right?" Seriously? I don't do football. Football to me is like social hour. Only in this case, I won't know a single person there. Wooo this is gonna be fun. NOT.

I told him that we should talk tomorrow (which means today) about all of this. Basically I'm freaking out. I am regretting booking a trip to go see him because he sucks as a host. If any one of my mutual friends or otherwise came out to see me, you damn well know I would clear my entire schedule for them. Sure I might plop in a few friends here and there but the entire weekend would be dedicated to spending time with that person. Which is what I expect of Special Agent. I'm flying allllll the way out there to see HIM for the weekend. Not his bff Danny, not his coworkers. Maybe he's just nervous to have alone time with me and wants people around. I get that. And I honestly might be okay with watching the football game with his coworkers if it was just him and I the entire weekend. But throw in his bff into the mix, and what do we have here? An episode of Three's Company. Or just an awkward weekend.

Clearly I'm not happy, but I am the type of person who always finds some sort of solution. So today when Special Agent texted me asking me if I was still nervous, I was completely honest. I told him I am having doubts about coming this weekend. I called U.S. Airways to see if I could change my flight but my ticket is non-refundable and so no matter what they'd charge me $150. Not a fan of that, so looks like I'm going to Vermont. Yay! *insert sarcasm here*

I asked him why his bff couldn't come up to visit him a different weekend. "I wish you would've told me this last night," he said. "I needed time to think about it. I don't like being put on the spot." "Well, I'll tell him you want me all to yourself but if he's already made arrangements, I'm not going to hell and have him break them." "That's fair," I said.

So now I'm waiting in limbo, waiting to hear if his friend is coming up or not. But here are my options:

  1. Since I'm 25 now and won't get charged those stupid under-the-age-fees, I could rent a car and do whatever I wanted this weekend in Vermont. I would of course "meet up" with Special Agent at some point, but most of the weekend would be spent alone.
  2. I could stay in a hotel. I'm sure I could get a great rate from like I did for my Seattle trip, and that would make it 10x less awkward because I wouldn't be around boys the entire weekend. Plus, if I didn't want to watch the football game, I could stay in and sleep or read my book.
  3. I could suck it up and enjoy Danny's company, and suggest to Special Agent that we have some alone time, whether that be going for a walk or to an early breakfast, so that we can have time to catch up.
  4. I could drive up to New Hampshire where my bff is going to be with her fiancee and spend the weekend with them.
So I do have options...but I'm still freaking out. What is up with people? Why do they suck so much??

What should I do? What would you do? Help!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Weekend Recap

Oh let's see, what did I do this weekend.....

Friday- I was stuck in the office all by myself. My boss and coworkers were all gone, so I left at 4:30, came home, talked to Yogi for a bit, who tried to convince me to drive up and see him in Keystone, but I declined. I was planning on doing nothing but hanging out on the couch when he said that I had to get out of the house. Good point. I ended up doing just that. I went to dinner with my mom at Outback where I finally told her I was going to Vermont next weekend, and could she give me a ride? Yeah, I didn't give her any of the juicy details. Later that night I went out barhopping downtown with M and another friend. It was a success.

Saturday- I slept in. Oh my how I've missed uninterrupted sleep. I don't think I did anything important. I did go to church with my mom, and then hung out with my brother who came home from college for the weekend. We ended up seeing The Ugly Truth at the cheap movie theater--when I say cheap, I mean cheap. Tickets were only $3.50. FTW! It was a good movie too, I laughed alot. I still need to see the Proposal and the Hangover. After the movie, we came home and caught up on things, and then I logged onto Facebook to check my crops on Farmville, because I'm so cool like that. Turns out the Asshole was online, and he basically called me out asking why I keep blowing him off. I told him how I just can't make anymore effort anymore and he called me passive aggressive. Yeah, it was a nice conversation. Not. He never apologized but instead said he misses me and wants to talk things out. I really don't know how I feel about it. I'm just too nice. I did agree to meet with him tonight to talk things out aka I want to yell at him and make him feel like a jerk. So at least that will be cathartic for me, considering i never did yell at him before when he ditched me.

Sunday- I slept in again, took our dog to the blessing of the pets at church, and then headed over to M's place. Her mom joined us and we made homemade pizza from scratch! It was definitely a success. I will post the recipe and accompanying pictures later this week. After her mom left M and I ate our creations and caught up. It was a great day. Then I headed to dinner where I met some alumni. It was okay, and I obviously wasn't hungry, but I did go. Dinner lasted two hours too. oy. But all in all, it was a good weekend.

How was your weekend?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

"You're my best friend"

Since my last post about all the boys in my life, I have quite a few updates.

Let's start with Alex. We keep e-mailing back and forth, but generally, our conversations are boring. I don't want to discount anything with him just yet, because anyone can be boring via e-mail. But I also am not at the point where I want to actually talk with him on the phone, let alone give him my number. Maybe I'll suggest going for a walk on our lunch break and see how the conversation is then. Either way, I definitely am not feeling the whole take-me-to-dinner-please feelings. More or less, I think he and I could be friends.

Speaking of friends, let's talk about Special Agent boy. So as you know from my last post, I'm set to spend a weekend with him in Vermont in oh, less than two weeks now. Up until this point, we still text daily, and he still calls me cakes btw. UGH. Regardless, he's been a little distant lately. Fewer phone calls, but still flirty text messages. Turns out he's homesick, and he's fighting with his sister because she's getting re-married and he doesn't approve of it at all. He hasn't even met her fiancee, but hates the idea, so he's boycotting coming home at all for the holidays. I've been supportive of him, listening to him vent, and when needed, putting in my two cents. 

This past Friday, while on Facebook, he started venting about family stuff. And then somehow changed the subject to my trip out there. "I want you to know that you're my best friend. I know I can tell you anything, and that whatever I tell you stays between you and me, and that's amazing. I'm so lucky." I'm thinking to myself...OKAY....where are you going with this? "But I'm so stressed out with family stuff right now that I can't be more than friends with you. Not to mention that my job comes first, and I'm a shitty boyfriend. I still need to deal with my past."

Of course I was shocked. I mean, wow. I didn't know what to say. In the span of like 3 minutes, he gave me a HUGE compliment, but also kinda put me in my place. He asked me if I was disappointed, and I said, "I don't think so, because I honestly don't know what I want right now." Which is true. I'll admit my first reaction was--how can he not want me? I want him to want me, even if I don't know if I want him. And as my bff pointed out, it's not fair to expect that from him if I don't even know what I want.

So I let that sink in, and we continued to chat, and by the end of our conversation, we were at ease. We were ourselves, and the conversation flowed naturally, which is a good thing. The more I've think about this--that we're just friends--the more I think he's right. Not to mention that I still don't even know if I'll like him more than a friend, seeing as I haven't seen him since high school. I think right now, especially with the distance, it's good to be friends. He makes me feel good about myself, and I in turn, encourage and support him. Not only that, but reading back on my past entry about the trip, I noted that I'm most comfortable with going to see him as friends. And that still holds true. Now I don't have to worry about being perfect around him. Now I can be myself. 

Over the weekend, when I was planning on going to the Great American Beer Festival, I tentatively made plans to stay the night at the Asshole's place in case I couldn't find anyone to give me a ride. I of course ended up staying with M, which was a way better choice. Plus, when I texted him on Saturday complaining about my head hurting, he texted back saying he was sick with a bad chest cold, so it was probably even better that I didn't stay with him on Friday night. Since then, I haven't heard from him, which is a good thing. I am just over him. I don't know how to describe it, but I honestly would have to force myself to go out with him again. I just don't feel anything anymore.

I haven't seen Yogi in over a week now, because something's messed up with the nerves in his leg. He's literally been out of work for almost two weeks now. I called him a couple of times to see how he was doing. We talked last night for a few minutes but basically he still doesn't know what is wrong with him and is set to go to a different doctor today. It'll be nice to see him, in a friendly way of course.