Thursday, June 30, 2011

Another bites the dust

Two weekends ago, I went to the Greek festival with catholic boy...

...and broke up with him.

In the weeks before "the talk" we had made some progress.

He had asked me to be in a relationship with him on Facebook, which I was totally not expecting and said, "can i think about that?" My response didn't sit well with him at all.

Then we had a heart to heart and basically didn't bring it up again. I thought about his question though, and as much as he is a nice guy, he isn't the right one for me. He had very strong feelings for me, including butterflies in his stomach, but I worried a lot that I would never be able to return said feelings.

A week later, we had a late-night discussion about friends. I was thinking that maybe if he met my friends I could tell whether or not he could hold his own. I thought that would make my decision to be or not be with him that much clearer and easier. But when I asked him if he would be comfortable meeting my friends, he wasn't enthused. And when I asked him if I could meet his friends, he straight out said, "you wouldn't like them. they aren't like you. they are atheist and vuglar." To which I replied, "you are so sweet, I can't imagine you hanging out with such people."

After we parted ways that night, I couldn't stop shaking my head. Something felt off. Something wasn't right. I still don't know exactly what it was, but I have learned from my past that I should always trust my gut, and in this situation, my gut was telling me to listen. So I did.

He had never been to the Greek festival before, so I thought, the best thing I can do is give him a good memory of it. We went to the liquor store beforehand where we bought shooters of various alcohol, and stopped at a nearby KFC to eat some fried chicken beforehand. After all, you can shouldn't eat on an empty stomach.

We listened to music, people watched, and drank. It was enjoyable. Then it was time to have "the talk." He noticed something wasn't right but I didn't want to have "the talk" in public. I wanted to do it alone, somewhere quiet.

So I told him it was time to leave and went to this church which had a lovely garden. It was near where I had parked. I told him that something felt off to me and that I think we would be better off as friends. He cried (a tear or two) and then went into a bout of self-pity. It was pretty sad to watch, but I tried to reassure him it wasn't anything specific that he had done, we just weren't the right fit.

We talked and he asked me if I wanted to be which I said, sure, let's give it a try. Only at the end of the conversation, in which he told me he is an atheist (yet he didn't even know what that word meant when I asked him so), he changed that to, can we be friends with benefits?

Um, what? I didn't expect that at all, although in hindsight I should've known. He is a boy after all.

Fast forward to this past weekend where we saw each other for the first time since the break up. I had actually 100% made up my mind that I only wanted to be friends. I even suggested he come over and play cards. He did come over but he definitely pressed for more than friends, to which I had to reject him. I felt good about my decision and he was respectful of it. We did end up cuddling on the couch though. And let me tell you, he is an amazing cuddler! But, I have made up my mind, I am not going to go into the friends with benefits zone.

We are set to watch fireworks on Sunday. Hopefully it isn't awkward.

Have you been friends with benefits with someone you've dated before? Did it have a happy ending?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Is this really happening?

Remember this whole house drama?

Well turns out, it didn't go to auction after all.

My realtor found out the lender didn't even know it wasn't auctioned off.

Apparently they are THAT FAR BEHIND.

When he talked to the lady last week she said she would put my offer in the "expedited folder," and promised a "quick response."

Keep in mind now, the new auction date is set for July 13th.

Then I got an email on Tuesday from my realtor saying that we'd hear something on Wednesday. So of course all day Wednesday I am anxious....


But, I got another email today from my realtor saying, "Hopefully things are going forward so it's time to get your loan started.  Do you want to go with the person who did your approval or do you want another name or two?"

So now I am officially "shopping around for a lender."

This might actually be happening.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Rant of the Day

Sometimes I really don't like my coworkers.

Yesterday we were sitting around the table in the conference room, when the coworker who has stolen my food before sits down next to me and announces with a smirk, "I might have taken someone's raspberries."

I immediately ask her if she took some of the organic ones. "Yeah, are they yours?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. Why does this always happen to me?

She said she got confused and thought they were on her shelf of the fridge.

The sad part is that I hadn't even washed nor eaten any of them and had seriously just brought them in yesterday because I didn't want them to go bad at home.

She of course apologized and offered for me to take some of her "non-organic" ones. Which honestly were way mushier than mine--heck no do I want any of those!

And then today, my other coworker had the same exact flavor and brand of hummus...and all during lunch I kept thinking, WHY ME? DON'T STEAL MY FOOD! I didn't say anything, but after we were done eating I secretly checked the fridge. Turns out hers was on the inside door. (below)

WHEW. What a relief.

Have you had any lunch mishaps at work?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

House? What House?

Let me tell you all, house hunting sucks. SUCKS. And sadly, I've only been doing it for the past two months.

Why does it suck so badly you ask? Let me tell you why it is not my favorite thing to do right now.

A month ago, after seeing 12 places, after having a mini-meltdown and having my bff and uncle look at it with me (again), I put in an offer on a two-bedroom, two-bathroom townhouse. The second-floor unit over looks the community pool, and has a fireplace and cathedral ceilings.

This unit is also a short sale.

What does that mean you ask? Well, here's what wikipedia says:

"Short sales are different from foreclosures in that a foreclosure is forced by a lender, whereas both lender and borrower consent to a short sale. However, this consent may be revoked at any time as short sales are entirely voluntary transactions for both parties. The borrower may decide to remain in the property and attempt a refinance or modification of their mortgage loan, or may refuse to cooperate with the lender's demand for financial documentation or a cash contribution, and thereby ensure foreclosure. Similarly, lenders can refuse to evaluate or approve a short sale offer, generally due to disapproval of either the buyer's offer amount or high closing costs, which reduces the lender's net proceeds. All short sale contracts should include a contingency clause specifying that the contract is contingent upon approval of the seller's lender(s)."
I put in the offer knowing that it could be auctioned off two days later. My realtor even forewarned me not to get emotionally attached to any place that I see or bid on.

I listened to him, but not fully apparently.

Since I made my offer over a month ago, I haven't heard a single thing.

But I have had the chance to tell friends and family about my potential place. And seeing them get excited and offer me decorating tips conversely made me have some positive outlook and hope that this might become reality.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, I was stalking  perusing the county assessor's site, and noticed that the mortgage company had put an initial bid of $96,000 on it. I was concerned, since previously, that box has been blank. I called my realtor and he called me back later in the day saying, he was disappointed and that the property was going to auction today.

I was a mix of emotions.

Frustrated- check.
Disappointed - Check.
Sad - Check.
Angry - Check.

I didn't understand why the bank never countered or at least said, hey, no thanks. Instead I HAD NO RESPONSE UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE THE AUCTION, cuz that's smart. *rolls eyes*

The thing that also made me angry was that they rejected my bid, which was almost 15K more than what the bank's initial bid was.

My realtor simply said they (the bank) found it easier to "pull the plug" on it and let it go to auction rather than take the time or manpower to counter my offer or at least respond to it. This boggles my mind. Seriously. I mean, you'd think that any bank who is owed money, would like to find a buyer for said property so they get their money repaid. DUH.

But apparently banks don't think logically.

So yesterday I spent all night upset, kinda crying, and really just not in the best of moods. At one point I even passed out on my bed with my head using my stuffed teddy bear as a pillow. Not pretty, my friends, not pretty.

What added insult to injury was my mother's pesky voice saying all these things. "If you had just bid what they were asking for, you probably would've gotten it..." and, "you know, if you can't handle offering more money next time, maybe you shouldn't buy. Maybe you should rent and get a roommate somewhere."


I would have never even started this process if I wasn't serious about it because the last thing I want to do is waste anyone's time.

That said, I do freak out about the money aspect of it. Not so much the mortgage part, because that's comparable to paying rent, but more or less the other parts of it. The HOA monthly fees, the utilities, and the mortgage/homeowners insurance I have to get.

Luckily, a family friend's daughter recently moved home and wants to move out. She's reached out to me already but I haven't discussed anything roommate-related yet because I don't have a place yet. Again, I'm logical.

So today I came into work feeling emotionally drained and just irritable.

Out of curiosity, I checked the county assessor's site again because I wanted to see if in fact, the property was sold for the $96,000 that the mortgage company offered....

...and you wouldn't believe what I saw.

IT DID NOT GO TO AUCTION TODAY, and the sale date has been postponed till July 13th.


As of now, I'm waiting to hear back from my realtor to see what the heck the deal is. I don't know if they received another (better) offer or if they just are behind on the paperwork. The listing agent did say that the lady who's working on this listing has 600 foreclosures sitting on her desk. That sounds like a miserable job, but at the same time, I'd be great if she would actually do her job.

I'm also taking every offer now with a grain of salt and am not going to become attached to another property...even though I saw a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom unit in the same complex this weekend and can completely imagine the third bedroom as my reading/comfy room.

Readers, I'll keep you posted, but in the mean time, share with me one of your frustrating stories. It'll help me feel better.