Thursday, November 5, 2009

I have to let you go...

Things in the boy department have kind of tapered off lately, mostly due to my own decisions. Remember Alex? Well, a couple of weeks ago on a Friday, he called me at work. We chatted for a few minutes, and he apologized for not emailing me or calling me that week, due to work reasons. Which was fine with me, I was really busy that week anyways. We got to talking about weekend plans, and I for once, had nothing planned, nothing going on. So without thinking, I told him I wasn't going to do much, maybe go outside or go for a drive somewhere...that I had no plans. What do you think happened? He didn't miss a beat and volunteered to hang out with me. Heck, he even said he would drive, and to call him the next day.

After hanging up, I realized that I didn't even know him. I hadn't seen him in person since we met on the bus a month ago, and why would I drive in a car with him? Not a good idea. Plus, he's obviously older. So while talking to my bff about it, she made a good point--that he's gotta be looking for one thing, and that I should end it because I'm not comfortable with the whole idea of hanging out with him. Which I wasn't at all. I get myself into crazy situations like these all the time because I'm just too nice. *shakes head*

So, I figured I had two options. I could call him back at work and cancel that way. Or I could send him an e-mail. I chose the latter, because I was too chicken shit to call him back. I kept thinking, what if he shows up at my office? What if he gets angry? I have a wild imagination, what can I say? So I wrote him a very short but nice email saying that due to our age difference I didn't think it would be appropriate to hang out, but that he was a very nice person and I hope he meets some new people soon.

Of course he responded the next day and was very nice about it.
{My name},
I can understand you perfectly. I don't know how old you are vs mine, although I sincerely believe I'm older than you but I don't think it hurt to have a friend who is older than you, does it? Besides I am sure it hasn't developed to something serious. For me I don't even know whether you have boyfriend or not so I have not been thinking seriously about relationship but I know is possible if there is connection and other things work. For now I just consider you as a friend but I think you are ahead of me. Anyway, I think you are nice and like you but if that is how you feel I can understand you. This notwithstanding I wanted to meet you even if not for anything but just a friend.
If you change your mind, give me a call.
Thanks {insert my name here}.
I never replied to the e-mail, because I didn't want to lead him on. We are still friends on Facebook, which I guess I'll leave. It's not like we write on each other's walls or comment on each other's statuses or anything, so it's probably ok to keep him on there. I was going to delete him, but my bff said that would send him the message that I hate him, which I definitely don't. I just am not interested at all. I feel good about my decision to let him I need to work on all the other ones. *sigh*


Sofia said...

Oh boys... they mess up our minds:p

Walter said...

Part of growing is the courage of letting go. :-)

Wonderful said...

Sofia- Seriously, they are trouble.

Walter- I agree with you, it's just hard to have courage sometimes.