Everyone in the blogosphere seems to be serious today so I'm going to delve into myself for a moment too.
Today I had several epiphanies, but I'm going to share this one: I suck at dating. Now, usually when I date it's because of the attention. I like having control of the situation, and I like being able to reject the other person instead of vice versa. But today I realized that while dating can be fun, dating can also lead to a relationship, which can lead to the M word--marriage.
I realized that whoever I date, I should want to spend time with them. And have stuff in common. You'd think this would be painfully dating 101 info but sometimes it takes me awhile for things to sink in. I realized this, when I was hanging out with a boytoy over the weekend. Sure we had great physical chemistry and I liked being wined and dined, but when it came to actual conversation- we really had nothing to talk about. He claimed he was tired. I just looked around and people watched because I had nothing to say either. I also hate that he is so messy, which he blames on his roommates. And I hate that he watches comedy central. I'd rather waste my time watching any other channel. Seriously.
Given that ephinany, I am going to make more of a conserted effort to distinguish what I want. If I want the attention, I might as well just hook up with them. But if I want a date, I should have higher standards. Granted, you don't always know the person before you date them, so in that case, I'll play it by ear. But at least now that I'm aware of this I can change. At least I think so.