Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hey shawty

Sometimes I think there's something wrong with the planet, specifically people on this earth.

A week ago, I was hit on by seemingly every guy I came into contact with. Now, don't get me wrong, it's definitely flattering to get hit on. But the guys that hit on me were subpar. I don't understand why I seem to attract older guys, because I look young, certainly not my real age of almost 25. That's for sure.

The common theme here is the bus, folks. Allow me to walk you through my day....

Guy #1, we'll call him Where's Waldo. No, he wasn't wearing stripped apparel, but his glasses were definitely Waldoesque. He was also wearing a scarf and had dirty fingernails and facial hair. Immediately, when I sat down, he looked at me and said hi, and smiled. People here never say hi nor smile, unless you know each other. And I definitely didn't know him. I looked out the window. Then mid-ride he sparks up conversation with me by asking if I know how much a local bus pass is. Yea, he didn't bother to ask the driver who probably would know that information. I make up some answer and continue to stare out the window when he starts talking about how he's new here and that everyone is so nice, and how he left Indiana. Yeah, this conversation was that rivetting...not! Eventually he got off, and I got to my destination.

Then coming back on the bus, another guy who had a ring on his left hand aka married, proceeds to bore me to tears about the newest drinks he's tried and how much he loves cars.
"Have you tried the new cherry pepsi?"
"No, I don't like anything cherry."
"Oh, I get them for free. I like them." :::proceeds to totally check me out:::
"You like the vanilla coke kind?"
"No, I hate vanilla. And Coke. That's too much sugar."
"Haha, I want to try the new diet Pepsi caramel cream."
"That sounds gross."
"Yeah...have you ever been to the car museum?"
"No, cars bore me."
"Oh, they have so many cool cars. I had pictures on my old cell phone."
Silence.
"Yeah, they had this vintage car I wanted."
"Why would you buy a car you can't drive?"
"Because it's so cool!"
Btw, this guy had to be like 40.
"Why don't you buy it then?"
"Because I can't afford it."
Yeah, I know, I'm mean...I get off the bus.
"Have a good day," he says, as he checks me out. Gross!

It's starting to rain when I get off the bus. As I'm waiting to cross the street, I hear "hey, hey you!" I don't turn around. "Hey shawty, where you going?" I turn around to see this big black dude wearing a tight white tee and carrying a huge umbrella.

"Yes?"
"Hey I've seen you around, and I like what I see."
I gave him a blank stare.
"See, you're like a sistah, but you're not." Translation: he likes my ass.
"I want to get to know you." Um. no.
"Why would I go out with you?"
"Why you gotta say it like that??" he pleaded.
"How old do you think I am?"
"20?"
I shook my head no.
"21?""22?""23?"
"24. How old are you?"
"35"
"You're too old."
"No!"
"Yes, that's 10 years difference."
He stomped his foot and said "But you're a grown woman! I just wanna take you out for dinner, get a couple of drinks, show you my place...I want to get to know you. Can I have your number please?"
"I don't do this."
"Here, put it in my phone."
"I gotta go- you're gonna miss your bus."
"Nah, he ain't even started his engine."
"Eh...."
"Please??"
"I'll think about it."
"But how will I see you again?"
"Look for me coming off the bus next week at this time."

And then I ran across the street, and definitely didn't drive today. *sigh*

4 comments:

LiLu said...

Ha! You shouldn't have told him that was your bus... VOM!

Wonderful said...

Yeah, the problem is that I've seen him before, on other buses too, but I haven't seen him this week so I'm safe, and if I do see him, I'm going to literally run. HAHA!

imerika said...

i guess the bus is the new checking out spot! why didn't i ever think of that? um...actually, i don't think i've ever ridden the bus in the entire united states. only in europe. wow, i sound like a complete snob right now. i swear i'm not.
i date guys that drive junk cars! i don't care what they drive, but if they were on the bus, i'd question their situation...unless they were like going to school for a degree or something or had a really good excuse...until i found that out, i'd probabyl assume they were some lazy broke bum (and from your post, sounds like i'm right...) ok this comment has turned into a theory paper. i'm done! : )

Wonderful said...

imerika- I don't think you are a snob at all. I never ever rode the bus until I was forced to for a summer internship because I didn't have a car. But now I've gotten used to it, and I like that it saves me on the gas money. Yeah, I agree with you-it'd be a big warning sign if they didn't own a car at all. That would just be a bad idea to date someone like that. Unless they had a good reason for it or lived somewhere where they didn't need one.