car situation

oh one more thing, I find my parents and brother to be overbearing sometimes. Life can be hard to deal with. Take for example, the recent car dilemma. I get a call from my dad on wednesday saying "court, you have to help me out. I can't run Matt and Andrew around and still keep a job. Call me." Of course I didn't call him back, cuz i was at work and super busy. Then at like 5, Matt calls. I ignore the call. then my mom calls. it's like WTF people, leave me the F alone, ok? See, the biggest problem I have with my parents and Matt is the lack of respect. Take this for example, I said, no you can't use my car on Thursday, I need it, I have an appt downtown at 6, and need it for my radio show. Matt responds with "You'll have a car Court, I promise. But let's switch cars." UMMMM....what? How about acknowledging MY PRIORTIES, how about saying, oh..ok..let's switch on Friday. But did he say that?? NO, because all he cares about is himself. And the whole reason why he can't drive my parents cars is because of his horrible driving record. It's so bad, the car insurance company threatened to drop my parents because of it. Hence, they got rid of him, and kept their insurance. But that leaves me, he can drive my car apparently. Or any car insured by that matter. But what sucks about the situation is no matter what I do, I look like the bad guy. If i say sure, here's my car, then it's only a temporary solution because I'll have to worry about my car and if his gf will spill diet coke all over the floorboard again. or if he'll mess with my GPS or take my $10 worth of quarters. But then if I say no, I need it. Then i look like the selfish daughter. I look like the person that can't help out her family. IT'S SO SO UNFAIR. COMPLETELY UNFAIR. I hate hate hate hate hate that I care about pleasing people. I really do. I wish I could just blow people off and not care. For Matt, he does this all the time, yet no one cares. It's like they've dealt with it and accepted that quality from him. I mean, it sucks. It sucks being the perfectionist. Why can't I just not care?????

I asked S's opinion of the situation the other night. I said, what should I do? And he brought up the question of, "do i trust my brother?" and i said, no, not completely. And that's true. I mean, the last time he borrowed my car, I was in Paris. But the time before that, i had $10 worth of quarters in my ashtray. when I got my car back, he had ripped into it, but hadn't taken anything. He had reprogrammed my GPS, but didn't ruin it. And he had put gas in my car, but had a huge stain from split diet coke on the floorboard. AND to top it all off, he didn't even apologize about the stained floorboard until I brought it up, asking "hey, did anything happen to my car? It looks like the floorboard is stained" "Ohh, yea. um. that. Sorry, it was kylie's fault. she split her diet coke all over. I told mom to tell you about it. i was gonna get it cleaned for you but didn't have time." SUREEEEEEEE. Yet i bring this up with my mom and she's like "oh yea, he was gonna clean it but he doesn't have the money Court. give him a break." WHATEVER. I just wanted to put my fingers in my ears, stick out my tongue, and walk around saying, "whatever, i'm not listeninggg"

Anyways, back to S. He basically said I had two options; I could stand firm or I could "be a blessing to my parents" *ROLLS EYES* *gag me. seriously. i'm all about being a good person and a good christian, but when you say it like that, "blessing" it's like FINE. way to make me feel 110% worse about my decision. It's like a lose lose, no matter what I don't get my way. and that sucks. because it's MY car, MY insurance payment, MY car payment. if anything happens to MY car, I'm the one that's SCREWED. Not Matt, not S, not my parents. So, me being upset, I said to S "Rawr. ok. thanks for your opinion," to which he replied "that wasn't my opinion. what i see is that you have two options." But it's like OF COURSE that was your opinion. OF COURSE if you were me in this situation, you would be a "blessing." It's like UGHHHHHH, I can't win. For those that have read this far, I did give in. I dealt with the fam on Thursday on my way to work, and offered to switch cars on Friday.

I just hope that I get my car back in one piece and with gas. gas is really expensive. took me $61 to fill up last week.