Thursday, July 17, 2008

Balance Part Two

In April, I was feeling overwhelmed with life and how to balance things. This is what I wrote then.

I had expressed my want for balance over dinner back then with M, and she had suggested that I talk to my uncle, who seemed to have the whole balance thing down. I did that, and it kinda worked, but I also prayed about it. I asked God if he could help me figure this out, or bring someone into my life who could.

Well, flash forward to now. A couple weekends ago, M and I were talking about life. And I mentioned to her how content I am with my own and how I feel like I have this balance. You see, I had struggled with balance for awhile. Take for example, getting exercise. Before, I never wanted to go to the gym when I got home from work because I didn't want to miss out on eating dinner with my roommate. Of course she said I could go and do my own thing, but I just felt like I would be missing out on that time with her, and I dislike waking up in the morning, so I didn't go to the gym then either. Well, now, about three weeks ago, I decided to get my bike from my parents house and have been biking my way to the bus stop in the mornings, riding my bike on my lunch hour at work, and then biking myself home after work. In that way I have balance of exercise because I still get to eat with her and I don't even have to wake up early! Of course this is just one example.

Another example was with calling other people in general. For the longest time, I would sacrifice my sleep and listen to various people (usually boys) talk for hours, or even if I was half asleep I would say that I was awake so I could talk with them. Well, right when I got back from Paris, I took time for myself. I didn't talk to S and others for a week, and I didn't even let them know I was back because I wanted time for myself. Nowadays, I put myself first. I have a bedtime (usually) and go to bed when I want to. And if I don't want to talk because I'm tired, then I don't. And it feels good! It feels so good to just take time for myself. I have to admit that I was worried that taking time for myself could mean I was being selfish, but now I know that it doesn't mean that at all.

Now I feel like I have a balanced life; I have time to put myself first, I get the amount of sleep I want, I'm getting better at the freelance deadlines, and I still have managed to maintain those interpersonal relationships with family and friends.

What's funny is that I didn't even realize that a few months ago I had struggled with this until the other night when I was sharing with M how I felt balanced. M reminded me that I hadn't always felt this way. And so, I just have to say that I feel like God has helped me. My prayers were answered.

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