***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
This month has reminded me of a TMI story from last year, around this same time. It was New Years Eve, and I was in the kitchen baking cookies from scratch when I got an invite from a guy I know to go to see the Flobots in concert. I had already made plans but I figured, for a free night out on the town, I should go. So I quickly showered and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt with my new white puffer vest. I was feeling good.
The previous week, I had noticed a huge bump underneath my armpit. Now, this has happened before, so I wasn't alarmed. Until it really started to hurt. So on the advice of my mom, I went to the doctors. They numbed me and spliced it open and let it all drain out, and then put this packing stuff inside it and gave me a bunch of gauze and medical tape and said it'd close up on its own.
So keep in mind I have my gauze taped onto my armpit. We got to the concert, where there's a ton of people, and it was pretty dark in there. It got pretty hot in there, but I figured I was just sweating because I had so many layers of clothes on. At midnight we did the whole kissing thing, and afterward he drove me to my car. I gave him a hug goodbye and drove home. The entire time I just thought I was really sweaty. Until I got home.
When I got home and took off my vest in my brightly lit bedroom, I noticed red all over the armhole of my vest. Curious, I took it off, and saw blood and clear residue all over the entire left side of the WHITE vest. Apparently my bump didn't close up on its own and proceeded to drain itself complete with blood and pus all throughout the night. Guess I wasn't sweaty after all!
Happy TMI Thursday!