Thursday, October 22, 2009

Boys & Girls

Can boys and girls just be friends?

I'm gonna say no. But I want to say yes. I want to believe that it's possible. I've told myself before how I've wanted a guy friend or two to hang out with, to do things with around town when my girl friends are busy. But I know in order for two people to be friends they have to be on the same page. And while it might start off right, it doesn't end right. Nope, either the girl likes the guy or the guy likes the girl. It just happens. It's like inevitable.

My friend Self-Absorbed, has a guy friend. But he likes her. He's invited her to fly to Canada to see him. She tells me all the time over gchat how he's such a stalker, and how she keeps telling him no, that doesn't like him, etc etc. Until today. Today apparently she thinks that she can go visit him "as a friend." "I know nothing will happen, I trust him. And I miss him when he's not online." Um, you miss the attention sweetie, not the boy. I told her how that's not a good idea, because even if he says they are just friends, he will take her visiting him to heart. And she's a flirt. So you know nothing good can come of this. I hope she listens.

Giving her advice has got me thinking about my boys. I found out Alex is 37. He wanted me to friend him on facebook, so I did. But now that I know his age, I don't want to hang out with him. And of course when I decided this last week, what happens? He asks me out to lunch on Monday. Thankfully work has been super busy this week so I had a legitimate excuse to say no. But 37? I mean, just the mention of his age makes me intimidated. I wouldn't even know what to say around him, especially because he's very soft-spoken. I mean, I don't see any attraction to him anyways, so I would be friends with him, but  still--37? No thanks.

Special Agent and I are still friends, but after my trip to see him a couple of weekends ago, I think there's potential for more than friends. I don't want that, and he doesn't either. But...if we were both in the same city, at the same time, and both single...wellll....I wouldn't discount us going out a time or two. So, that proves it, I can't be friends with boys, even if I tell myself that's what I want.

What do you think? Do you think boys and girls can just be friends? Cuz I'm thinkin' no...


Andhari said...

It's more complex than girlies friendship but I honestly think it's possible. Way harder, but possible. I have some guys in my life I never have love interest with and they never see me like that either. The point is, you have to know that there will always be boundaries and you can't expect to have a relationship like you have with a girl friend. Like, staying past midnight over a weekend alone at home,for example. Ok to do with girl friends but not with guy friends. Gotta choose activities better if you want platonic friendship to work..

Anonymous said...

At creighton there were a hellll of a lot of boy-girl friendships...but 1/4 of them ended in marriage, 1/4 of them were gay men, 1/4 of them were going to be priests, and i'd be willing to bet in a majority of the last 1/4 of the just platonic friendships at least one person liked the other a little more than they let on. I think its rare that boys and girls can just be friends. Doable, but rare.

Jaime said...

I guess it depends on the people involved. I mean, I'm capable of purely platonic friendship with guys. One of my best friends is a guy. I'd never date him, but I love him to pieces. We're a lot alike. I've also got a few guy friends, none of whom I feel attracted to in any way. Now, that's not to say they feel the same way. I have no idea how they feel. I only know how I feel.

Anonymous said...

I didn't have many guy friends when I was younger, which always bugged me.

Nowadays I have a few guy friends I hang out with frequently, although one of those friendships began with mutual attraction. We're both over it now and surprisingly able to remain extremely close. I love him and I seriously tell him everything. There's a few other guys I've been hanging out with that know I'm not 'interested' in them and I know they don't want me.

It's perfect. It's totally possible to have guy friends and I loooove it!

Have a beautiful weekend, lover ;)

Wonderful said...

Andi- I like your reasoning, you do need boundaries.

M- It definitely is rare, but Creighton seemed to be a nice place to meet good guys.

Jaime- You raise a good point, it's important to know how you feel, so that you can judge for yourself whether it will work out or not.

Taylor- I want more guy friends, even if I'm not capable of just being friends with them ;)

LiLu said...

I definitely think they can, in certain circumstances... like if you're both happily in relationships.

Sofia said...

Tough question... But I believe boys and girls can just be friends. Most of my friends are boys and while I had some issues with some of them because there was not just a friendship in the air, with others things never got complicated.

I also have male friends since I was a little kid and nothing has changed, we are just friends as we always were:)

Nice blog=D

Mr. Apron said...

Believe me, they can be just friends.

I have a bevy of friends who are women that have never probably even given the slightest thought to fucking me.

Which is good, because I'm married.

And, back in the day, I only wanted to fuck some of them.