Lately I haven't been posting because I've been reading all of your entries. I know, that's no excuse, but when things in my life change or there's important developments, I tend to go silent in the blogging world and take the time to deal with them in "real" life.
Since I last posted, I have some updates to share.
As you all know from my post a month ago, I went to Arizona to see a boy I've been talking with for five years. The trip itself was intense because there were ups and downs. Day one was intense for me because he sucked a lot of energy from me. Day two was much better because I felt balanced and we did some things that he wanted to do and some things I wanted to do too. Day three was horrible because all we did was argue and fight. We were supposed to have an amazing date night but it was the worst date I've never been on. We barely talked at dinner and then he took me home. Granted, now I realize that we probably had that bad day because this entire time we were around each other all day, minus the time when we were asleep in our own places. At least the trip ended on an okay note. We actually got to go to the pool and relax and were civil and nice to each other the last day. I do have to say, four days of non-stop boy time was too much. In the future, if I ever do something crazy like this again, I'm going to definitely schedule in "me" time and take a shorter trip.
Since the trip, we made the mutual decision to break things off. We are still friends and happen to still talk frequently, but I'm relieved we're no longer dating or trying to figure out if a relationship would have worked.
This leads me to introduce a new boy, whom I met from CatholicMatch.com. He is nice and patient and not at all like the Arizona boy. We've been going out for two months or so, and I have enjoyed my time hanging out with him. He has a job, but he also has some faults. Like...he can't drive because he has a hereditary condition with his eyesight which causes him to be unable to see contrasts. He also lives at home, which is fine, but recently while we were on a date, he spilled some green chile on his pants and immediately he said, "my mom's gonna be so mad at me," while he furiously tried to get rid of the stain. I couldn't believe his mom still does his laundry. I mean, he's 27! I live at home, but I would never have my mom do my laundry. It's MY responsibility. Talk about a turnoff.
And then there's the whole Catholic thing. I mean, I'm not a perfect Catholic, but I have to say over the past year or so, I've really grown a lot spiritually, and frankly, I want that in my future life partner someday. I've invited him to several church-type events and he's basically said no to all of them. And it's not like me to just be that person to keep nagging someone to go, so I haven't invited him to anything since.
Two weeks ago, the asshole treated me to frozen yogurt. I haven't seen him in awhile and I have no intention of dating him, but I did want to kiss him for comparison purposes only, which I disclosed to him before we even met that night. And I have to tell all of you, I felt more of a spark with him based off of those two kisses than I have with Catholic boy for the past two months.
Therefore, I've decided that I need to be honest with Catholic boy and tell him I think we should only be friends and that the spark just isn't there for me. I've been trying to do this for the past week and a half, but our schedules just haven't worked out, so hopefully by next weekend this hard conversation will be over with.
Surprisingly, I'm actually happy with not dating anyone right now. I'm sure there will be days when I'm envious of others or feeling lonely, but right now I think I'm where I'm supposed to be. It also doesn't hurt that I made an offer on a townhouse! The thought of moving on with my life is really exciting to me. I'm just waiting to hear if my offer has been accepted or not. So send me some positive vibes!
What's new with you?