Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Money, money, money

A former co-worker of mine (turned friend) got laid off oh, last summer. At the time she was about six months pregnant and seemed confident that she would find another job or start working for herself. Since she had the baby, I've seen her a few times--mainly going over to her house and drinking tea and eating cookies and catching up. Well, when her unemployment wasn't cutting it, she joined some health company, where basically the more people she gets to buy the product, the more money she makes. And I was supportive of that, since she has a family and all. The key word here is was.

Since then, she and I haven't hung out at all. Yet I constantly get Myspace invites, Facebook messages, and IMs from her asking me if I would like to "get free lunch and learn how XXX company can help me save money!" Um. No. Thanks. I don't have any desire to go to any of those things. At the beginning, I would just politely RSVP "no." Then she began with the Facebook chats, begging me to come. I told her I understand where she's coming from, but I have no interest in it. But here's the thing. All of these invites have not stopped. Like, seriously, NO means NO.

So the latest IM from her came on Monday. Only this time she admitted she knew I wouldn't go, but would "love it if you told your family and they came." And I told her, honestly, my family better things to do, and they definitely won't go. And then, THEN she started in on my current co-workers, asking what our office number was, and their extensions. I ended up giving them to her but not without telling her that no one would be interested, especially my co-worker that is disabled. And of course she took that opportunity to pitch more of the product she sells and that's exactly why said co-worker should come, and yadda yadda yadda.

I've told her outright that I'm not interested. But we used to be friends. Before she turned into this crazy marketing person. I'm not sure what to do. Do I just ditch her as a friend? Do I ignore her until she gets a real job again? Or do I confront her and flat out tell her how offensive it is that she keeps asking me and that I can't deal with her anymore?

Here's my other situation. One of my best friends in college, recently started selling Mary Kay. Since she and her hubby moved back to Texas, she's been staying at home watching their kid, while he's been substitute teaching and applying for Phd programs. She used to work full-time when they lived in New York, so I think part of her is bored being at home all the time. Plus, the extra income could help them afford trips (to see me) and other things.

She's not as bad as my old co-worker. She told me about it the last time we talked, and this week I received emails from her saying she was selling it now and stuff. But here's the thing. I don't buy Mary Kay products. Heck, the last time I bought makeup was probably circa 1990. Just kidding. It was probably more like 2 years ago, minus the regular upkeep of mascaras and nail polish. So, I understand why she's doing it, but I don't want to buy anything. I don't need it. But at the same time, I don't want her to take my lack of interest as not supportive of her. But I also don't want to feel pressured into buying anything either.

*sigh* When did friendships become complicated?


Anonymous said...

friendships and money don't mix.

this kinda would think she'd get the point, but i think she's blantantly showing you that the money is more important to her right now than your friendship or else she'd respect your wishes...

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could just buy once a year?

Kez said...

Honestly? I hate that crap. Friends shouldn't try to sell their friends stuff - unless they know they would really want it.

The first friend you mentioned isn't being a friend at all. You may as well confront her. You don't have to be bitchy, but just say "Look, I have to be straight with you. I've never been interested in what you're selling and never will be. I will no longer be/provide a network for you to do this. I do wish you all the best, but I have to draw a line. I hope this doesn't affect the friendship."

Although, honestly it probably would. But who cares? She hasn't been a friend herself!

Wonderful said...

imerika- Yeah, I think you're right. She's choosing her "job" over me. It's not like I ever thought we'd be bffs, but it's disappointing.

Anonymous- I could do Mary Kay if I had to buy a gift for a girl or something. But it's unlikely.

Kez- I'm so glad you hate it too. It's not fair to be put in that position, especially if we're deemed "friends." I think you're right, it's not like I have to see this "friend" at work anymore, so the next time I get an invite or a Facebook chat, I'll just be honest and tell her off. Oh man, that'll feel so good to do. I can't wait. :)