Friday, August 21, 2009

Am I Settling?

I meant to write about this on Wednesday, but alas work+friends+life got in the way, so I'm writing about it now.

As I've briefly recapped before, B and I are were exclusively dating, because that's what I wanted. I also wanted him to do something for my birthday. Turns out he can't make my birthday dinner tomorrow night because of work. Even though I'm disappointed, I get that. Of course I wanted to see him this week, but lately I've been planning all the times when we hang out and this week I just didn't feel like planning anything. So I texted him asking him if he would mind planning out when we're hanging out this week. I wanted him to put in some effort, but he never texted back. So I texted him again asking the same question, and got a reply. "Sorry I've been running around all day. My phone is dying, come online."

I went online, and when I asked him the same question, he suggested tomorrow, as in Wednesday. I said sure, given that I had plans for the rest of the week. So we confirmed that, and I went to bed. Fast forward to Wednesday, after work I decide to go home and change. I call him and leave him a message saying that. Then I text him as I head downtown to his place, because we ALWAYS meet at his place and then usually go out to dinner. So I call him again, to let him know I'm near but he doesn't answer. I figure he might be sleeping, because he's always tired after work. I pull into his parking lot, and as I'm about to turn off my car, my key gets stuck in the ignition. FML. So I call him again, with my intention being that he could come out and fix it for me. Only he doesn't answer. So I fix it myself, walk to his apartment, and knock on the door. His roommate answers, saying he's not there and is probably still at work. "Can you tell him I stopped by?" 'Sure.'

Obviously I'm irritated right now because it's already almost 7 p.m., not to mention that if he was still at work, he should have told me so. Especially because I MADE THE EFFORT to drive alll the way down there when in reality, all I wanted was to be at home in my comfy clothes cleaning my room. So at this point, I've decided I'm going to just order pineapple curry to go at this Thai place downtown. As I'm headed there, guess who calls? B.

"What's the emergency miss? You called four times."
"Where are you?"
"I just got out of meetings. Is that okay with you?"

"I'm here. Are we hanging out tonight?"
"Okay so I'm going to stop by the bar and say hi to the trivia team and then I'll be home in 45 minutes. I'm not staying long. I'm just saying hi. You can come along."
"All I want to know is if we are hanging out tonight."
"Well why don't you make that decision for me?"
"Have fun at the bar."

I was just so mad that I couldn't even speak. So I drove to the Thai place, and in the car I just started crying. I was hurt that he would choose his coworkers over me. He sees them ALLL THE TIME. Secondly, he was the one that PLANNED this evening. Third, he didn't even apologize for not calling, not communicating, not for making me wait for him. Nope. Nothing.

So as I'm crying by myself in my car in front of the Thai place, I get a text from Bryan. Bryan is the new guy I've been talking with but lives in Vermont. Anyways, he asks if something is wrong because I haven't really texted him all night. I'm about to text him back when he calls me. And he ended up listening to me vent and cry and basically admitted that guys are stupid but that my guy is an idiot, because I'm a great catch, etc. Obviously it's nice to hear compliments, but it's even rarer that a guy is sincere about them. After talking for a good 20 minutes, I finally need to order food. So I let Bryan go, and order my pineapple curry.

Then I get back to the car, and Bryan calls again, just to make sure I'm feeling better and we talked until I got home, even though it was already 11pm EST, and he had work early in the morning. I definitely appreciated the talk because HE MADE EFFORT. I can't say where things are headed with him, but I can definitely say that I'm over B.

I'm ready to move on to someone who actually deserves me, puts in the effort, and actually cares. I am excited to turn 25, because that means I'll have a new age, a new haircut, a new (boy)friend, and hopefully a new job.

Have you ever settled before?

{Btw, he never called}


Taylor said...

Bryan sounds like the sweetest guy ever! The guy I'm with currently would do... pretty much anything for me, so no I don't settle.

I expect a guy to treat me exactly as I treat him, and I would do anything for DB.

I don't know if that answers your question, I feel like I'm kinda rambling. Anyways, you'll find Mr. Perfect eventually, sometimes it just takes a little extra effort. Or, hell, just sit back and enjoy being single. Let him find you.

It'll happen :) Have a fabulous weekend and try not to think about B. He sounds like an ass.

Jill Pilgrim said...

Ooof, that's so hard. I think everyone has settles at some point, but hopefully not for long, you know?

His loss, seriously.

Andhari said...

What a douche. He so doesn't deserve you. Agree with your friend there that he's an idiot.

Wonderful said...

Taylor- That's awesome that you have a great guy in your life! You aren't rambling at all, I like your comments :) I had a fabulous weekend like you suggested and I'm all better now!

Jill- Glad you agree with my friends. He's such an idiot.

Andi- I totally agree with you!!

A Oh Dub said...

That would drive me crazy! What a dbag.