So after my terribly gone wrong convo with L, I needed to talk to someone. I wished that S was around but alas, he was out in KS attending a wedding. On a side note, I just find it so ironic that the minute he skips town for a week, all of this stuff, both personal and professional, crops up. It's like, I know I can survive without him, but I just missed him. I would've liked to have called him when I was upset about the car situation, or tell him about the fight with L. It would've just been nice to see someone else's perspective. That's all. But I couldn't rely on him, so I went to SA instead...
SA was online as well, and so I decided to say hi. We haven't really talked much either, mostly because she is self absorbed, and well, it doesn't really matter what you say because you don't get any feedback. Somehow I told her about the convo with L, and how I must be a bad friend to neglect one of my best friends in a foreign country that was supposed to be our adventure. Surprisingly, she actually listened! And she was very engaged with me, she even gave me encouragement and totally reassured me that I am in a good person and a good friend how much she misses me. She told me to not pay attention to drama, because it's overrated. Of course I told her, how can I NOT pay attention to this when my best friend says so? But, I did take her suggestion to heart, and tried to stay positive. She even asked me what my weekend plans were and told me to have a great time at the concert. For someone who is SA, she sure was a friend when I needed one.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
1, 2, 3 updates from the list
1. Best friend is mad at me....
2. Learned about myself in Paris, both good and bad.
3. Learned that I love tape recording--seriously, I know, so old school, yet so so cool.
-----
I took my old school tape recorder with me on my adventures in France, and I have to say--I loved it! I loved recording and telling stories and didn't think it was awkward at all. I think it was definitely time efficient. Perhaps in my next job I can incorporate my enjoyment of recording/talking in some aspect. That'd be cool.
So on Wednesday of last week M and I were reminiscing about Paris over glasses of wine, M made a comment about how I was fully engaged in life, how I was living life, and how I was so sure of my decisions. Of course I wanted examples of this, but M is a thinker, and given my short attention span, I asked her to tell me how I was different when we came back, and she said when we got back, I was second guessing my decisions. Which I was, I was trying to figure out what I should do for that day but I couldn't make up my mind. And thinking back to Paris, I was definitely sure of my decisions. Like for example, I knew which trains to take on the Metro, and when I knew I didn't have alot of time to shop, I went into a shoe store, looked around, and instantly knew I liked this pair of gold and black flats. Anyways, the bottom line is that M complimented me on the fact that I was passionate, and sure of myself.
Now, of course I was like awesome. And somehow we got to talking more about the trip and L, and M mentioned how L and her had a mini heart to heart in CDG airport. And of course I told her how L said M was so nice. And then M mentioned that L might be a little mad at me. I was like, WHAT?? And you know me, as soon as I found that out, I wanted to confront the situation, so I waited till Friday at work....
...so Friday at work, I was on gmail like normal, and I saw L was on too. I messaged her and said hi, and after a few minutes she responded saying hey. Now, I knew our convos since Paris online had been stilted but I figured that maybe we were sick of each other--spending a week with someone can do that. Anyways, I expressed this to L, how I felt our convos weren't the same, and I asked if she was mad at me. L replied with a yes, and said how hurt she was that I didnt make any time for her and I to catch up. How not once did I ask her to lunch or ask her to hang out. According to her, I was always with M. She told me that she couldn't understand how a complete stranger like M could see she was upset, yet her own best friend couldn't, and how I made it abruptly clear that I wanted to do things with M such as our fancy French dinner. Of course after hearing this with my mouth wide open in shock, I asked her why she didn't say anything to me, why she didn't pull me aside and at least say, hey, let's talk later. L said I was always with M, and that there wasn't "the right opportunity." WHATEVER. So instead she waits till we get back, till Paris is OVER, to say, ya, I'm mad at you?? WTF? I mean, seriously, if I was that upset or hurt, you're damn right I would've said something, even if I was with someone else. I would've sat next to them on the metro and said, hey let's talk later. Or pulled them aside to say hey, let's go to dinner tonight, just the two of us. But no, somehow because I'm not a mind reader, this is allll my fault. She went on say how she wanted to tell me so many things, both funny and embarrassing, on the trip which made me feel even worse because I would've wanted to know that, it would've been nice to have a full-bellied laugh.
It sucks because just the other night I was being complimented on how great of a person I was in Paris by M. Yet L apparently hated how I was acting and who I was out there. It's like, I tried, I tried to connect, it's not my fault she chose to be alone some of the time. But regardless, I acknowledged her feelings, said I was sorry, and asked her if she was in the same situation again, would she say something to me? Her answer: maybe I would've passed you a note asking to talk later. *sigh* I went on to acknowledge how I know our friendship had changed, and how we have had our ups and downs and the importance of letting our friendship breathe and recover. I told her how I wanted to fix things right away but I know that I can't do that--only time can.
She forgave me and agreed with me about my insights into our friendship. And then we went on to catch each other up on life since Paris. I told her about going to the play with Jeffrey, and our lost luggage and she told me about how much she missed Matt. I told her about the new blog I'm reading about a 40yr old hippie from Boulder traveling the world for a year and asked her if she would ever do that. Of course she said, "not without Matt." *rolls eyes* I was telling M about this at the John Legend concert, and I said, even if I was in a serious relationship, I would go travel if that's what I wanted to do and I would hope that my partner would understand that and give me my freedom. I mean, of course it would be hard to be without that person, but ultimately, traveling for me is an adventure and a time for personal growth. But back to L, before she left, I told her about how hott country singer Chuck Wicks is, and her last line was "off to see the bf..." It's like RIGHT. thanks for that, thanks for throwing the fact that you have a bf in my face. Nah, that's cool...go ahead....*shakes head* oh friendship.
2. Learned about myself in Paris, both good and bad.
3. Learned that I love tape recording--seriously, I know, so old school, yet so so cool.
-----
I took my old school tape recorder with me on my adventures in France, and I have to say--I loved it! I loved recording and telling stories and didn't think it was awkward at all. I think it was definitely time efficient. Perhaps in my next job I can incorporate my enjoyment of recording/talking in some aspect. That'd be cool.
So on Wednesday of last week M and I were reminiscing about Paris over glasses of wine, M made a comment about how I was fully engaged in life, how I was living life, and how I was so sure of my decisions. Of course I wanted examples of this, but M is a thinker, and given my short attention span, I asked her to tell me how I was different when we came back, and she said when we got back, I was second guessing my decisions. Which I was, I was trying to figure out what I should do for that day but I couldn't make up my mind. And thinking back to Paris, I was definitely sure of my decisions. Like for example, I knew which trains to take on the Metro, and when I knew I didn't have alot of time to shop, I went into a shoe store, looked around, and instantly knew I liked this pair of gold and black flats. Anyways, the bottom line is that M complimented me on the fact that I was passionate, and sure of myself.
Now, of course I was like awesome. And somehow we got to talking more about the trip and L, and M mentioned how L and her had a mini heart to heart in CDG airport. And of course I told her how L said M was so nice. And then M mentioned that L might be a little mad at me. I was like, WHAT?? And you know me, as soon as I found that out, I wanted to confront the situation, so I waited till Friday at work....
...so Friday at work, I was on gmail like normal, and I saw L was on too. I messaged her and said hi, and after a few minutes she responded saying hey. Now, I knew our convos since Paris online had been stilted but I figured that maybe we were sick of each other--spending a week with someone can do that. Anyways, I expressed this to L, how I felt our convos weren't the same, and I asked if she was mad at me. L replied with a yes, and said how hurt she was that I didnt make any time for her and I to catch up. How not once did I ask her to lunch or ask her to hang out. According to her, I was always with M. She told me that she couldn't understand how a complete stranger like M could see she was upset, yet her own best friend couldn't, and how I made it abruptly clear that I wanted to do things with M such as our fancy French dinner. Of course after hearing this with my mouth wide open in shock, I asked her why she didn't say anything to me, why she didn't pull me aside and at least say, hey, let's talk later. L said I was always with M, and that there wasn't "the right opportunity." WHATEVER. So instead she waits till we get back, till Paris is OVER, to say, ya, I'm mad at you?? WTF? I mean, seriously, if I was that upset or hurt, you're damn right I would've said something, even if I was with someone else. I would've sat next to them on the metro and said, hey let's talk later. Or pulled them aside to say hey, let's go to dinner tonight, just the two of us. But no, somehow because I'm not a mind reader, this is allll my fault. She went on say how she wanted to tell me so many things, both funny and embarrassing, on the trip which made me feel even worse because I would've wanted to know that, it would've been nice to have a full-bellied laugh.It sucks because just the other night I was being complimented on how great of a person I was in Paris by M. Yet L apparently hated how I was acting and who I was out there. It's like, I tried, I tried to connect, it's not my fault she chose to be alone some of the time. But regardless, I acknowledged her feelings, said I was sorry, and asked her if she was in the same situation again, would she say something to me? Her answer: maybe I would've passed you a note asking to talk later. *sigh* I went on to acknowledge how I know our friendship had changed, and how we have had our ups and downs and the importance of letting our friendship breathe and recover. I told her how I wanted to fix things right away but I know that I can't do that--only time can.
She forgave me and agreed with me about my insights into our friendship. And then we went on to catch each other up on life since Paris. I told her about going to the play with Jeffrey, and our lost luggage and she told me about how much she missed Matt. I told her about the new blog I'm reading about a 40yr old hippie from Boulder traveling the world for a year and asked her if she would ever do that. Of course she said, "not without Matt." *rolls eyes* I was telling M about this at the John Legend concert, and I said, even if I was in a serious relationship, I would go travel if that's what I wanted to do and I would hope that my partner would understand that and give me my freedom. I mean, of course it would be hard to be without that person, but ultimately, traveling for me is an adventure and a time for personal growth. But back to L, before she left, I told her about how hott country singer Chuck Wicks is, and her last line was "off to see the bf..." It's like RIGHT. thanks for that, thanks for throwing the fact that you have a bf in my face. Nah, that's cool...go ahead....*shakes head* oh friendship.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Karma's a bitch
So awhile back, oh maybe Januaryish, a good friend of mine invited me to partake in a week long cruise to the Caribbean. I was hesitant at first but she assured me that all of it would be paid for, even convinced me that we should go on the earlier cruise rather than the one in February. I figured, heck, if it's free, I'll go. Well, I was never entirely 100% excited, I was nervous because I've never been on a cruise, and I'd be around alot of ocean, which unfortunately, the ocean and I are still on the outs. Anyways, I knew she was excited, she'd IM me practically everyday and tell me so. Well as the trip was drawing nearer, and I was asking for days off from work, she changed her mind. All of a sudden she told me, "oh my boss needs me to work, so I can't go. I'm gonna lose $2,000. This sucks." Later, I come to find out via facebook, that she is taking the same girl she took on a cruise last year. Of course she didn't bother to be honest with me. And of course, I was honest with her, and confronted her via IM. No response. Seriously, all I wanted was an apology. Three days, three IMs, and three phone calls later, she finally apologized.
Where does karma's a bitch come into play you ask? Today. For the sake of the convo below, we'll name "good friend" as SA, for self-absorbed. Read the convo below....
SA: hey i have a question
me: shoot
SA: are you really really busy at work this month
me: well we have our peak times, and i only have one artist this month so it's not as intense as other months
SA: aww thats not bad
me: yeah
me: are you busy this month
SA: umm sorta kinda
SA: i have this issue...i bought a 700 dollar trip to the bahamas next weekend saturday-tuesday with my friend kristina and she cant go anymore....so i either go alone, find a new friend, or forfit....any chance in hell you'd be interested?
SA: it already paid for you just need 2 days off and to get to florida
me: aw man, i would love to but i'm gonna be out of town for a wedding from sat-monday
SA: awww i see
me: yeah
me: good luck!
Good luck indeed.
Where does karma's a bitch come into play you ask? Today. For the sake of the convo below, we'll name "good friend" as SA, for self-absorbed. Read the convo below....
SA: hey i have a question
me: shoot
SA: are you really really busy at work this month
me: well we have our peak times, and i only have one artist this month so it's not as intense as other months
SA: aww thats not bad
me: yeah
me: are you busy this month
SA: umm sorta kinda
SA: i have this issue...i bought a 700 dollar trip to the bahamas next weekend saturday-tuesday with my friend kristina and she cant go anymore....so i either go alone, find a new friend, or forfit....any chance in hell you'd be interested?
SA: it already paid for you just need 2 days off and to get to florida
me: aw man, i would love to but i'm gonna be out of town for a wedding from sat-monday
SA: awww i see
me: yeah
me: good luck!
Good luck indeed.
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