The situation: It's about a boy. Obviously. That's pretty much the only time I care about advice. Anyways, said boy, lives in another state. Boy and I have daily phone conversations and have "known" each other for years. I say "known" because we've never actually met face to face. We've had video chats and written letter correspondance, facebook messages and IMs, but never the actual hang out time we've both been craving.
He currently lives at home too, so that has sort of hindered things. But here's the thing. I like him and he likes me. But I hate the distance. I want someone I can see every week and still have the hour long phone conversations. He's not moving here anytime soon, and I'm not moving where he is either. So I guess you could say that we aren't meant to be, and that things will never progress. But that's what I'm confused about.
Some days we have an amazing connection. Some days he brings out the best in me and vice versa. Of course there are other days when we both are stubborn and fight too. It's not all roses and fairy tales. Like last night, I asked him how his night was and he told me he spent it with his family at home. Only, toward the end of the conversation he admitted he went out on a date with the same girl he had met, oh, last week.
I was annoyed for two reasons, which I expressed to him clearly. First off he should have just been honest with me at the beginning of the conversation. How was I supposed to know he went out on a date? I can't always ask an exact question to figure out an answer. Secondly, how can he spend time talking with me everyday and then go out on a date with a girl? He said he did it because he was mad at me because the night before I told him I wasn't going to make a trip out there to see him.
We were discussing Frontier's fall sale, and he asked me to come see him. I told him I felt like we were dysfunctional and that I didn't want to book a trip and then regret coming out there. Basically, if I go see him, I want to be the center of attention. I demand to have it. Because to me, going out of state to see someone and spend time with them is serious. And, I don't want to look like a fool. I want to know he's serious about me and I don't want to have to worry that he's interested in anyone else.
He assured me that if I had told him in the first place that I would go see him, he never would've went out with that girl. He also told me if I come out to see him, it will be all about us. He claims that he cares about me and wants to spend time together. I asked him about where I'd stay. Part of me wants a hotel because then I'd have some down time alone. But then that's more money. He said I could potentially stay with him if his parents go out of town or he was thinking of asking a friend of his from his church if I could stay with her.
Obviously, I'm in the thick of this mess and can't see clearly so that's where you all come in. What should I do?
Pros: I'd finally get an answer to if me and him are even remotely compatible. And I'd get to go to a state with warmer weather.
Cons: I could go out there and realize he's completely not for me. And then what would I do for the rest of the weekend? I don't want to regret anything. I don't want to regret going but I also want a happy ending. I want it to go smoothly and have fun. It's one thing to go out there because I wanted to see something or attend another event and then meeting him would just be icing on the cake. But if I'm being honest with myself--if I went on this trip in October--it wouldn't be because I want to go to Arizona. It'd be for him.