Thursday, February 24, 2011

Negative numbers are no fun

They say that one of the top reasons why most marriages end in divorce is because of money.

After yesterday, I gotta agree with that statement.

Yesterday was stressful at work, but I stayed late to finish everything. While I was waiting to approve something, I logged into my bank account online. Now, being that it's the end of the month, I knew I'd be a little low on funds. This is because the majority of my bills are due at the end of the month--i.e. rent, student loan, and storage.

But I can tell you this. I did not expect to see -$700.54 as my balance.

I immediately tried to comprehend what the hell I could've spent that much money on. I sure as hell knew I didn't just go out on some shopping spree. But I think I was too panicked to really do the math. So I called my mom.

36 minutes later, we basically figured out I had made two mistakes. #1 was thinking I could transfer a substantial amount of money from checking to my other savings account without really checking to see if I had money in there. That basically messed up alot of it. And, I paid off my Discover credit card on which I had charged my new tires on. So that was a hefty payment--normally I'd have that extra $357 in my account. #2 It actually hurt me to have my automatic savings transaction this pay period. Had I canceled that, I would've had enough funds to cover all my bills.

When I got home from work, I got into bed and cried in the dark. I cried because I felt like a failure. I mean, I'm 26 years old, I should know how to manage money. Right? RIGHT. I was also angry because I WORK HARD for my money. How unfair is it that I work and yet I have none?

At one point when I was on the phone with my mom, she said, "You know if you had a mortgage payment right now, they could take away your loan because you don't have money in your account." This really made me upset because if I can't buy my own place--where the hell am I supposed to live? I can't live with my parents the rest of my life. And renting is just like throwing money out the window.

During my hysterical crying fit, I actually had the thought that since I didn't have a cent to my name (which obviously isn't true--I have more than enough in savings, but I don't want to borrow from savings because I'm afraid I'll never pay myself back) I would have to go to the food bank for groceries. And then I thought of next month when I'd have money to spend again and how everytime I'd go to the grocery store, I would set aside $12 or so for items to donate to the food bank so that I could help someone else.

Obviously, I can be (sorta) melodramatic. But I haven't overdrafted my account like that EVER. So you can imagine why it was such a big deal to me. Thank god I have overdraft protection. Plus, my parents owed me some money. So basically, all I owe the bank will be the amount my automatic savings withdrawal took earlier this month, which I have already scheduled to transfer tomorrow.

So everything will be okay.

Have you ever cried over money? How do you deal with the stress of it all and still maintain your sanity?

1 comment:

Kez said...

Money can be such a touchy subject! I am so glad that you worked it out in the end - which I think is key to keeping a relationship together - realising that it will all work out as long as both partners are on the same page :)

Right now money is tight because I'm not working (I'm looking though!) and hubby is in a new job - he loves it but it's a pay cut. We've booked a holiday overseas for later this year and we're not struggling but we have to think twice before we spend ANYTHING.

I can't wait to contribute financially. As sad as it is that money shouldn't be so important to us all, it really can be. Our ability to live and survive depends on it! I just tell myself that it's all for a good reason (travel) and will be worth it in the end! In the past the hubby has lost his job during the recession, had time off for a broken leg etc and we just both got on with it. When there's nothing you can do about it you just keep surviving as best you can.

I'm sure things will look up eventually. You'll get there!!!