The aforementioned title of this blog post was my the status message I posted on Facebook over the weekend. Specifically on Friday night after I had consumed about six beers, which is totally unusual for me. It's probably because I was playing the role of "wing woman" for one of my close friends.
I'm not used to playing wing woman. And this particular friend had been with her significant other for almost two years until they recently called it quits. Now she's in her rebound phase, which she recognizes. Honestly, I have no problem with that at all because I benefit from it. I've gotten a single friend willing to go out on the weekend and someone to talk boytalk with.
She met this guy at the dog park and found out he's in a band and had a gig that night. He invited her to come by and of course she wasn't about to go alone, so she called me. After almost hitting a deer, we finally found the place. And let me tell you--this place screamed sketchy right from the start.
First off, the name of the bar is called "In the Zone." Make what you will with that. Then we walk in, and we literally were the youngest ones there. And overdressed might I add. My friend even threw on a button up shirt over her fancy top so she wouldn't attract attention.
We ordered drinks and then got a table near the stage and waited. Finally my friend saw her guy and said hi to him. I had my eye on the saxophone player but turns out he's married. My friend thought the keyboard player was cute until he came by our table and we noticed up close he wasn't so hot.
So of course to get through all the cover songs they played, I drank. Finally during a break, her guy came over and talked with us a bit--made the usual small talk and then left. I told my friend I don't think he's boyfriend material, and to "proceed with caution." I mean, this guy is 35, has roommates, and basically didn't really give her any sort of special attention that night, which I could tell she was wanting.
Her guy invited us to have a drink with the band after they were done playing for the night. At that point, I had already had my two tall beers and was thinking of switching to water, but my friend insisted that we should get one more drink and then we'd leave.
Well, I got my beer, and the band finished playing but then they had to break down the stage and equipment which was gonna take another 45 minutes. At this point, most of the people in the bar had left, and it wasn't even 1 a.m.
So my friend and I talked and killed some time. Here comes in the awkwardness. While we were talking with two single guys, this old guy wearing a red hat who had been staring at my friend throughout the night, came by our table, interrupted the conversation and said, "You're cute," to my friend. She replied, "I know I am," and he said, "Wow you're full of yourself," and walked away. AWKWARD!
Not only was that awkward, but right after the red hat guy left, my friend knocked over her beer, sending it all over our table and pretty much down the leg of my jeans. Awesome, right? The hammered dude came back with some napkins, while the blonde guy brought over a wet rag.
Turns out the blonde guy was totally a regular at that bar, which says a lot. And he admitted he's an "engi-nerd," which in some dorky way was cute. But he definitely was desperate. He kept saying "you've got to come back," and pretty much begging us to stay. We stayed long enough for him to replace my friend's split beer and then got the heck out of there.
The night definitely had its awkward moments, but it made for a great story.