Emotions.

Last night I had what I call, an emotional breakdown.

(Sometimes I exaggerate)

But it got me thinking about how others deal with their emotions.

For me, I tend to let my emotions build up and then I cry. A lot. Like the kind of cry that little kids do when they fall down or drop something important. The kind of cry that just seems, well, sad. I thought about all the stress I have in my life right now. Unfortunately I didn't think about all the positive things--I mean who does that while crying?--I just thought about how all the recent changes in my life feel like a major burden to me right now.

I tried to complain about my house and the stress of my new job to my mom but she wasn't having it. All she said was, "get over it." Which of course just made me cry even harder and say, "you are so insensitive!" Then I completely shut down and didn't want to talk with her about it at all. I mean, I want sympathy here. Or at least someone to listen without judgment.

Thankfully after my dramatic crying stint last night, complete with snot dropping from my nose, I felt better. I felt emotionally drained though, and tired. But I actually decided not to work on my house alone last night (I've been going there after work and painting every single day this week with the exception of Monday) and instead took a bubble bath and read my book.

I woke up with puffy eyes this morning and a very tired body, but I treated myself to breakfast and approached the day with a more positive attitude. I emailed my new boss with a revised outline for the project I'm working on and have even made a few personal appointments for tomorrow to get pamper myself. I need to listen to myself and my body's calling for some "me" time. Hopefully I the day to myself will help me feel refreshed. I might go get a massage or treat myself to froyo. Who knows. But the prospect of not having to do anything with or for anyone else excites me.

Do you ever have emotional breakdowns? How do you release your emotions?  

Itsy Bitsy Spider

I should have saved this post until next month for Halloween, but oh well.

About two weeks ago, I came home and let the dog out into the backyard. It was dark at this point, and so when I let her back in, I turned on the outside light.

Which is when I saw this:

At first I was really scared, because it looks like a mini tarantula to me. Plus, it's web was literally in the top right corner, right near our back door. 

Once I let the dog in, I shut the door and just started to stare at it. And then of course grabbed my camera to take pictures of it. I took these from behind the door, which explains why it looks like this spider is floating in mid-air.

 

Since the initial spotting of this guy or girl, I have to admit--I have become fascinated with it. I mean, it's like the type of spiders they show on the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet. Now it's like a routine to come home and before bed, turn on the outside light to see the spider.

Last week when my mom threatened to kill it, I begged her not to, and then proceeded to search the internet. I even looked at pictures of creepy spiders before bed and didn't have any nightmares.

Turns out, this type of spider is what they call an orb web weaver. It totally builds its web in corners of doorways and can hang out in gardens. The cool part is that it spins a new web everyday and apparently it can put a special white part of the web to detract birds from running into it during the day. I haven't seen "our" spider do this though. Mainly it just hangs out in its web throughout the night hoping to catch something and during the day it crouches between two wooden slats near the door frame.

With the help of this article by a professor of Entomology at Cornell University, I learned that this type of spider is called a Cat-Face Spider and it's totally harmless. I might have my brother try to relocate it though. I am not sure how much longer my mom will allow it to be near the back door.

I guess I can kinda make out a cat face...

Secretly, this spider reminds me of Charlotte's Web, only I hope in this case it doesn't have a bunch of spiderlings. That would not be okay nor welcomed.

My favorite part of the spider is its huge butt.

 Do you have a fascination with spiders? Or are you afraid of them? I think in this case my fascination outweighs my fear of them, but you won't see me touching it or anything else crazy like that.

Painting, painting, and more painting

I have been neglecting my blog...the truth is, it's not for lack of time, or lack of things to say. I simply find it more appealing to refresh my google reader multiple times a day and read other blogger's entries instead of writing one of my own.

But here's an update. I start my new job in exactly 11 days. I still haven't moved into my place. I'm currently in a continuous state of spending money on home improvements--oh joy. I have been painting every weekend, and have started to include some weeknights.

Believe me, I always thought painting would be fun. But it definitely loses its appeal when you have to balance on a ladder to paint the trim, or use these big ass extension poles to paint ceilings. That, is not fun. But it's what I've been doing. However, I know it will all be worth it once I'm settled in. Plus, paint is supposed to last a long time, so I hopefully won't be doing this again anytime soon.

I have to paint the bathroom ceilings, plus my closet ceiling. Then I have to paint all the walls in all the rooms. Sounds easy enough, right? Ugh. It's a lot of work, but it will get done.

The infamous red wall, that has already taken two coats of paint--I predict it will need another two coats of paint before it looks right

What have you been up to?

Something dumb...

Because I am procrastinating at work right now, I decided to write (and rant) about something I think is so dumb.

It's the new breast cancer awareness craze on Facebook. Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, if you are a male, you're not supposed to know this, but because I think this is really ridiculous, I'm spilling the beans.

"The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the GIRLS ONLY and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round all over the world.
So you'll write... I'm (your birth month) weeks and I'm craving (your birth date)!!! as your status. Example: Feb 14th: I'm 2 weeks and craving Chocolate mints!!

January-1week, Febuary-2 weeks, March-3 weeks, April-4 weeks, May-8 weeks, June-9 weeks, July-10 weeks, August-12 weeks, September-13 weeks, October-14 weeks, November-16 weeks, December-18 weeks.

Days of the month: 1-Skittles, 2-Starburst, 3-Kit-Kat, 4-M&M's, 5-Galaxy, 6-Crunchie, 7-Dairy Milk, 8-Lollipop, 9-Peanut Butter Cups, 10-Meat Balls, 11-Twizzlers, 12-Bubble Gum, 13-Hershey's Kisses, 14-Chocolate Mints, 15-Twix, 16-Resse's Fastbreak, 17-Fudge, 18-Cherry Jello, 19-Milkyway, 20-Pickels, 21-Creme Eggs, 22-Skittles, 23-Gummy Bears, 24-Gummy Worms, 25-Strawberry Pop Tarts, 26-Starburst, 27-Mini Eggs, 28-Kit-Kat Chunky, 29-Double Chocolate Chip Crunchy Cookies, 30-Smarties, 31-Chocolate Cake"

Now, before I received this message from my Facebook friend, I saw her change her status to: I'm 8 weeks and craving Milkway, which automatically made me think she was expecting. And then the next thought I had was, "homewrecker!" because she already has 3 kids and is dating an old dude who has two kids.

But then a friend that just had a baby in July had a similar status, and I knew it must be one of those chain letter-esque things flying around the Internet. But, it's still dumb! I am certainly not participating. I don't want anyone to think I'm pregnant. I'd rather support breast cancer awareness by participating in the Susan G. Koman Walk for the Cure, or donate money to research.


What do you think? Are you going to participate?