Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Reality Check

Figuratively, I've been hiding out lately. I've been in my own bubble of thoughts.

Basically, I've been interviewing my butt off, and still not getting any job offers. It's SO FRUSTRATING! I've even asked the hiring managers why I didn't get it, and they all basically say, "it's not you, it's me." That doesn't help. People keep telling me that the right job will come along...and I believe that for all of 2.5 seconds, before I think to myself, "yea right, you're not the one spending $100 on new 'interviewing clothes,' you're not the one requesting all these odd half-days off from work, you're not the one doing writing tests once a week and taking returning calls from potential employers while hiding out in your car for fear that a coworker might overhear. Basically, you have no idea what it's like" <---- that's what I want to say.

In the mean time, I've gotten a second job just for the holiday season at the mall. It's not the most glamorous but I'm hoping it'll be worth it. I haven't been sleeping well because I keep dreaming about the job and what I need to remember and how to work the cash register and how I can improve so I don't get fired. Oh, and I'm having trouble with anxiety of the job hunt and of the low low low balance of my savings account. I feel defeated that I'm never gonna be able to afford my own place.

I've also been whining about why I'm not in a relationship. Even people I don't even like have significant others and it's like, why don't I get what I want? Yes, I'm selfish or jealous or whatever. But at least I'm being honest. Even the not attractive looking girls that I work with at my other job have boyfriends and I'm wayyy cuter and sweeter than they are. Just sayin'. It's not fair.

So anyways, I've been keeping all these thoughts in my head. It wasn't until Monday night that I finally got a reality check. I had dinner with my best friend from grade school. She cooked me and her husband dinner. It was great. It was at dinner that I started on my rant about how I'm not getting a new job. She actually reminded me that a lot of people don't even have one job, much less two like I do. She reminded me that I'm thankful to be living at home and not homeless.

And then she shared some of her own news that she's expecting! I seriously was beyond thrilled for her and her husband. Seriously, I can't wait. They are going to be cute parents and the baby is going to be so cute, and they are going to have a cute family.

Ok, I'll stop saying cute now. But really, I was truly happy for her. I wasn't envious of the wonderful life she has. It was hearing this news that popped my inner bubble I was living in and made me see that there are other things out there to be thankful for. Since then, I have new perspective on the things that I'm going through. It doesn't hurt to have wonderful things to look forward to either.

How have you all been?


Anonymous said...

I was wondering where you were!!! Try to smile, mkay? Sometimes life sucks. Shit happens. You'll get through this :)

Wonderful said...

Thanks for your encouragement...I needed to hear that!

Newlyweds on a Budget said...

how long have you been looking for a job? I know I have been looking for 6 months before I finally landed something. ALSO--I would try and postpone your hopes until after the holidays since a lot of companies kinda slow it down right now and then gear up again in January.

I know it sucks, but like some people said, it's always good to be grateful for even having a job! As much as i hated mine, I knew it paid the bills and kept a roof over our head. Also--don't worry too much about never moving out. It took me three years, THREE years, before I could afford to move out on my own. and even then, it was month to's tough...hang in WILL happen...

bittersweetm said...

Getting interviews is definitely one step better than most, who never get a response. But at the same time, it makes it more difficult because it's like you're being yanked around over a period of time. Best of luck in your continued search, and don't give up. You're allowed to have your down moments, as it makes the high moments so much better. Remember what you already have, but keep striving for what you want. It will happen!! :)

Wonderful said...

Newlyweds- I've been searching and hunting for 2 months now. The thought of having to do this for another 4 months makes me wanna scream...but i will take your advice and stop looking till the new year. at least i can get a break on that. thanks for the encouragement!

bittersweetm- thanks for your encouraging words. I def needed to hear them.