Monday, July 26, 2010

The time gnats attacked me and my friends signed me up for online dating

Normally I don't bore you with the details of my weekend, but these past few days require a blog post.

On Friday I got off of work early and headed to the pool, where I swam and played kid's games like tea party underwater. Then I headed to my friend's house for an all-girls sleepover! We played all 16 or 18 rounds of Scattergories, where I put down some random and made up tiger bass. Turns out there's no such thing as a tiger bass. Either way, we had a blast while drinking beer I had brought that was brewed in Chippewa Falls, WI. It tasted like a lemony-beer. Oh, and I won at Scattergories.

We also ate brownies and lugged a loveseat from her cute neighbor's apartment. At one point M had stepped outside to talk with her boytoy, leaving me and my friend, who recently broke up with her boyfriend. Of course you know where this is going--we had boytalk. I told her how the next boy I do date, I want to be Catholic, and actually go to church, and be a gentleman, and be able to hold a good conversation but not be too stuck up and also have a sense of humor, and oh, be college educated.

At some point during that long description of my next boyfriend, I let it slip about an online dating website that my friend from highschool emailed me about in April. Apparently she met her current boyfriend on there and they are still dating. At the time though, I didn't want anything to do with dating, much less online dating, so I promptly chucked that e-mail into my trash bin.

Fast forward to M coming back into the room, and whattya know--my friends signed me up for an online dating site specifically for Catholics. Yea, and this was at like 1:30 a.m. We had to fill out an obnoxiously long profile, complete with questions such as, "How often do you attend mass?" "How many children do you want?" "What forms of prayer do you like most" "Any favorite saints?"

Yea. I have to admit I was mildly entertained by this whole thing, and promptly said to M, that this deserved a blog post. Once we jumped through all the hoops, we finally got to my "matches." We went through about 12 pages and only sent an "emotigram" to three or four boys, all of whom are local and fit my criteria.

Since then, I've had several view my profile, and two boys have sent me "emotigrams," both of whom I didn't like during my initial screening.

I definitely have to say that while this is random--having your friends sign you up for an online dating site in the middle of the night--it fits my life. You can't make this stuff up.

Speaking of making stuff up, you also won't believe what happened to me yesterday.

Yesterday I argued with my mom all day about the money she owes me, but wouldn't give to me, unless I cleaned the house. So I did laundry, organized stuff, and basically sweat off a lot of calories. During said cleaning spree, my brother complained about a zit on his back. Of course my mom and I took a look, and it was definitely not a zit.

Queue my mother taking him to the Urgent Care place near our house, where they suspected it might be a black widow. Queue my mother calling me at home asking me to look for said spider. Queue me finding nothing. Queue my mother calling again to say that the Urgent Care place can't do anything for him--he has to go to the ER, and did they want an ambulance? Um no. Brother went to the ER with my parents where he got some IV filled with stuff to flush out the "venom," and a double dose of Valium for the pain.

Finally my brother gets home, and he's high as a kite on those drugs. He's not making any sense at all. It was really entertaining. Oh and they basically concluded that he has an "insect bite," but definitely not a black widow bite, although my brother is now telling all his friends on facebook that he almost died because he got bit by a brown recluse spider.

After all that craziness, fast forward to 11:30p.m. when I'm about to go to sleep for the night when I notice there's all these little black bugs on my ceiling. Of course I blame my mother for opening my window, and wake her up. She comes into my room and tells me they are just "gnats," and to "vacuum them up."

*So I was that crazy cat lady only with bugs, standing on my bed with the vacuum hose in one hand and the other hand on the ceiling for balance, sucking up all the bugs. At 11:30 at night. WHO DOES THIS??

Welcome to my life.

*So funny story, or not, but three years ago M and I were hosting a sleepover and before our friend came over, we had an invasion of these huge flies in our apartment. Naturally, I thought we should just vacuum them up, only that failed the next day when we realized that a) they were still alive and b) they were flying out of the hose.


Anonymous said...

Life has come full circle apparently :)


Anonymous said...

Life has come full circle apparently :)


Anonymous said...

Haha. That's really funny about the flies flying out of the hose. I never would've thought of that. And I'm glad your brother is ok :)

Wonderful said...

M- Yes it has. Yes it has.

Taylor- Yeah, seriously they must be smart or something!