Happiness, gratitude & value

Over the weekend I heard a story about how many people are impatient because they have all these demands--from their employer, family, and friends. No one says thank you. No one appreciates all of their hard work. Essentially, they don't feel valued.

What I took from that story when I heard it on Sunday was that I should be more grateful for the people in my life. As I was putting dinner on the table for my dad and brother, I stopped to tell them that story. And then I proceeded to bring up how we never help my mom out with the dishes after she's cooked dinner for us, or how I never tell my dad thank you for working so hard, and how my brother never sets the table. Sure, these examples are pretty small, but the bigger lesson here is to be more aware of those around you.

While I've been mindful of the people around me and all that they do, I also had another theme arise in my thoughts: value.

When I think of value, I think of "the value of a dollar," or the "value of that product" or how that coupon saved me .77 cents, making it a "great value."

But I recently realized that there's another definition of value that I've been missing. Value in terms of work.

While I was meeting with my spritual director yesterday, I shared with him how in the past two weeks, I've been so happy. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. That kind of happy. The kind of happy that makes me want to break out dancing and laugh like a fool. I told him how happy I am because of all the new job opportunities that have come my way, and how I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

I told him how I've imagined walking into my boss's office and telling her that I'm leaving to take a position at another company. I've pictured her reaction to my news and look of the shock on her face, and how happy I will feel to tell all of my coworkers that I'm leaving.

Two years ago, when I imagined leaving, I worried that I'd miss my coworkers. Now I could careless. I know it's time for a change. And frankly, it feels good to be wanted. It gives me validation of all my hard work in my current position.

When I told him all of this, he said, "I'm getting the sense that you don't feel valued at your job." AMEN BROTHA. Seriously, I've never thought of it that way, but he's right. I don't. I've gotten a ton of new work thrown at me, but never have had a positive comment saying, "thanks," or "I know you worked hard on that...it looks great." Nope. It's just expected, same 'ol shit, different day.

And frankly, knowing that I can be valued in other positions and situations, well, it gives me wings to fly so to speak. It gives me the motivation to work harder. It gives me the positive outlook I've been wanting to have for awhile. It makes me believe that I can do it. I can get a new job. I can move out of my parent's house and into my own place. I can be unstoppable.

What about you? Do you feel valued?

Fear vs Freedom

Earlier this week I attended a potluck at Floozy's house. See, I've belonged to this local media women's e-mail list serv for like three years, but have never made it to one of their monthly potlucks or weekly schmooze's. I just lurk online instead.

Of course I was the youngest person there, but I wasn't surprised by that. My other coworker had warned me already about that. I had no expectations going into it, and I have to say that I had a rather pleasant evening. Wow, I sound old. I mean, I had an evening without awkwardness.

The ladies were all nice and all of them couldn't believe that I had been at my current job for almost four years. I'm not sure if that was because I look really young, or because that's just a really long to stay at a job. Although, one of them made me feel better by telling me that she had stayed at her first job for seven years.

At one point I remarked how I want to try something else but I also don't want to jump from job to job to avoid being laid off. "Fear is a great motivator," said one lady. It got me to thinking about all of the things I'm fearful of.

I don't know when I began to let fear in, but I would like to lessen its current role. As a kid I lived without fear--I jumped off the diving board and risked it turning into a belly flop, or rolled down a hill without worrying that I'd hit my head on a rock.

I'd like to get back to that place of total freedom, but today I took a small step--I applied for three jobs. I didn't let my inner critic prevent me from submitting my cover letter, and I wasn't afraid to put down the magic number I want for my next salary. I just uploaded everything and hit the submit button. It felt good.

Do you love or hate social media?

I recently took the Pew Research's "How Millennial Are You?" quiz, and scored in the 70s. The survey asked a handful of questions, based on texting, how many hours of tv you watch, internet usage, video games, and if you read the newspaper. I had other friends that scored in the 20s, and some in the 30s.

Taking this quiz made me think about social media. You know what I'm talking about--the Facebook, the Twitter, the Tumblr, the Digg, the Myspace...and the list goes on and on and on. I consider myself to be somewhat in the middle with the social media game. In my office, I am like the Queen Bee of social media, mainly because my coworkers don't get how to use it, much less how to save attachments from e-mails, but that's another story for another day.

In my group of friends, I am pretty much the connected one. I have some friends on LinkedIn, and definitely most everyone I know is on Facebook. But I also know some people in their 20s that want nothing to do with Twitter. Those people are the same people that don't have internet on their phones* and aren't regular e-mail checkers.

But while I love my Twittering, and blogging, and Facebooking, I also don't become obsessed with it. I mean, sure it's part of my job to do it, and I like the community that's created with social media. I like that people can read my thoughts and respond to them, and I can feel like my voice is being heard. But in the big scheme of things, I don't consider myself a social media lover per se. When I get on Twitter and start to see all these tweets about social media conferences, and what's the future of the web, etc etc., I lose interest. I become bored, and willingly mark those tweets as read and erase them. I don't have the passion for social media that some people my age do. But I at least have the smarts to try it all out so I can at least know what's going on out there.

What about you? Are you a social media lover or a hater?

*I don't have internet on my phone either but that's mainly because I think it'd be a waste of my time and it's easier to check stuff on a real computer, not to mention I don't want to pay for a data plan.