Last night I had what I call, an emotional breakdown.
(Sometimes I exaggerate)
But it got me thinking about how others deal with their emotions.
For me, I tend to let my emotions build up and then I cry. A lot. Like the kind of cry that little kids do when they fall down or drop something important. The kind of cry that just seems, well, sad. I thought about all the stress I have in my life right now. Unfortunately I didn't think about all the positive things--I mean who does that while crying?--I just thought about how all the recent changes in my life feel like a major burden to me right now.
I tried to complain about my house and the stress of my new job to my mom but she wasn't having it. All she said was, "get over it." Which of course just made me cry even harder and say, "you are so insensitive!" Then I completely shut down and didn't want to talk with her about it at all. I mean, I want sympathy here. Or at least someone to listen without judgment.
Thankfully after my dramatic crying stint last night, complete with snot dropping from my nose, I felt better. I felt emotionally drained though, and tired. But I actually decided not to work on my house alone last night (I've been going there after work and painting every single day this week with the exception of Monday) and instead took a bubble bath and read my book.
I woke up with puffy eyes this morning and a very tired body, but I treated myself to breakfast and approached the day with a more positive attitude. I emailed my new boss with a revised outline for the project I'm working on and have even made a few personal appointments for tomorrow to get pamper myself. I need to listen to myself and my body's calling for some "me" time. Hopefully I the day to myself will help me feel refreshed. I might go get a massage or treat myself to froyo. Who knows. But the prospect of not having to do anything with or for anyone else excites me.
Do you ever have emotional breakdowns? How do you release your emotions?
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
TGFF
Thank God for friends. Seriously. I have noooo idea what my problem is today but I am just plain useless. I thought SD was San Diego, when anyone with half a brain knows it stands for South Dakota. Then, I kept overthinking plans for later with S. It's like not that harddddddd. Seriously. And then my mom asked me to babysit my brother who is freakin 19 this weekend. Of course this was the ONE weekend that I am BUSY, because I am in a WEDDING for my best friend Beth. On top of all that, I was asked to take over general emails at work, so I just finished going through about 6 pages worth of new emails. Add to that, my freelance article is due today, and surprise surprise, it's not finished. What's worse is that I make my own deadlines! I can't seem to get it together today.
L & M got me through today, and a co-worker brought in the best cookies ever. The best quote from today came from L when I was telling her how I could switch my mind and text S back and end up meeting up downtown. In which she replied: just say "630 is fine" and throw ur phone out the window so ur not tempted to text him again." HAHAHA. I love it. This is why I'm so lucky to have friends who put up with my whiny-ness. M even gave me some good advice and let me call her and vent to her about the whole situation. I seriously don't even know why I'm in such a weird funk today. I just want to go home, but I know my freelance article is still weighing heavily on my mind, which is what I should be doing at this exact moment instead of blogging. *sigh* Oy. But I know God is with me, and it will get done. It HAS to. End of story. Just had to write real quick, but now I'm off to write an additional 127 words and a conclusion. Hopefully the evening will be better than today has been.
One quick update: Matilda has not died, and in fact, she has a couple new flowers blooming! YAY!
L & M got me through today, and a co-worker brought in the best cookies ever. The best quote from today came from L when I was telling her how I could switch my mind and text S back and end up meeting up downtown. In which she replied: just say "630 is fine" and throw ur phone out the window so ur not tempted to text him again." HAHAHA. I love it. This is why I'm so lucky to have friends who put up with my whiny-ness. M even gave me some good advice and let me call her and vent to her about the whole situation. I seriously don't even know why I'm in such a weird funk today. I just want to go home, but I know my freelance article is still weighing heavily on my mind, which is what I should be doing at this exact moment instead of blogging. *sigh* Oy. But I know God is with me, and it will get done. It HAS to. End of story. Just had to write real quick, but now I'm off to write an additional 127 words and a conclusion. Hopefully the evening will be better than today has been.
One quick update: Matilda has not died, and in fact, she has a couple new flowers blooming! YAY!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Whacked out Dreams
One unique quality of myself is that I often have very vivid, detailed, dreams. Take for example last night. So I'm heading off to the Outer Banks this weekend for a wedding, so I had to do some last minute shopping last night. Then, M and I had to book our flight from Denver to NYC, so that we can catch our flight from NYC to Paris ontime. That was stressful!!! We'd find a good price, then go to orbitz or cheaptickets.com and then the flight wouldn't be found and the fare would increase by like $50 all in a span of like 5 minutes. Made no freakin' sense! An hour and a half later, we had finally booked one. FINALLY. I talked to S for awhile and then just was so freakin tired that I thought I would sleep soundly. Well, turns out while I was physically tired, my brain wouldn't stop thinking. Which leads me to my whacked out dreams...enjoy.
I was in a mega church. It definitely wasn't Catholic, that's for sure. So I was in the audience with my family when the Rev. or preacher, sat in the row behind me and started preaching from the Bible. and he would ask ppl in the congregation questions, and of course I avoided all eye-contact but he asked me what this specific passage meant. and with all the people in church staring at me, I said, "I don't know." And he was like, read it again. So I read it again, and I said, well maybe this means God's love is everlasting and that we need to rely on Him. And the preacher was like, no, no, God's love isn't everlasting. And then he called on someone else. And I remember thinking, no, you're wrong. And so is this church. And I looked down at the Bible they had, and it had this chapter on evil things. And I remember thinking, this isn't the right church for me. And thinking that my friend Ashley would say these people are wrong.
So then after the preacher was done, all these people snuck out of church, including me and my family. Well, as soon as we left, we entered in this hallway. See, the church was inside this building, like in a big room. And so when we got out in the hallway, I saw across the hall that there was this other room. Only this room was filled with like Quakers, and I like looked in the room and saw all these people in old-fashioned clothes and they were yelling and singing all at the same time. Well then I looked in the corner of the room, and there was this closet door shut and this piano was pushed against it. And somehow, I don't know how, but I knew that my dog Hailey was trapped inside of it. I could hear her yelping and I knew that the Quakers didn't like dogs. So I told my family, and I said, "we have to get Hailey out of there!" So we snuck into the room, and somehow as soon as we were close enough to the closet door, Hailey crawled under the piano and was out and she was so excited to be free. She was jumping up and down and licking me. So then my family and I raced out of the church building and into the 4Runner.
When we got to the car, it was snowy and the roads were slushy, and we saw this Yukon truck almost crash into another car because they slipped on the roads. And I told my Dad, who was driving, I said, "go slow, we don't want to get into an accident." So we got to the house, but this wasn't my parent's house. We were in my Uncle's house. And then they went away and my uncle was there, and I remember telling him about my trip to New York. And he's like, "when are you going?" And I said, "In May. Let me just double check what time I'm leaving." Well then I found my e-mail with the dates, and I realized that I had booked a flight for April and not May. And I totally started to panic in my dream. And I wanted to cry, because I knew that I had gotten it through Orbitz, and I knew that the ticket was nonrefundable, and I knew that if I could change it, it would cost more money--money I didn't have to waste. So I called the 1800 number, and I got this agent, who was a lady. And I made up this story about how I know I was supposed to fly out in April, but I really needed May, and how my internet cut out when I was booking the tickets, and how I changed the dates after that happened and figured the ticket would reflect that and how I really needed to change my flight. And the lady was really nice, she was like okay, let me see what I can do. And I don't know if I got the flight or not because I woke up.
Dream analysis: I'm pretty sure the Bible thing came from S, because he had sent me the verse of the day, and I had asked him a question about it, and he said he would explain later. Which never happened because like I said, I was exhausted and he was on the bus on his way home anyways. And Hailey--she was probably in it because I saw my family last night for dinner and thought of her. And obviously, the Orbitz drama was because I had actually put in the wrong dates at one point last night. I remember cuz M and I were hootin and hollerin with joy because the price was seriously like a $100 less than what we ended up paying, BUT I had accidentally put in Saturday and Sunday, as in 2 days, not a whole 6 days. So that was part of that. And I guess the slushy roads had to have come from earlier this week when it was slushy outside. And my uncle, I talked to him the other day, so that's probably why he was in there. Either way, clearly I was stressed out.
I was in a mega church. It definitely wasn't Catholic, that's for sure. So I was in the audience with my family when the Rev. or preacher, sat in the row behind me and started preaching from the Bible. and he would ask ppl in the congregation questions, and of course I avoided all eye-contact but he asked me what this specific passage meant. and with all the people in church staring at me, I said, "I don't know." And he was like, read it again. So I read it again, and I said, well maybe this means God's love is everlasting and that we need to rely on Him. And the preacher was like, no, no, God's love isn't everlasting. And then he called on someone else. And I remember thinking, no, you're wrong. And so is this church. And I looked down at the Bible they had, and it had this chapter on evil things. And I remember thinking, this isn't the right church for me. And thinking that my friend Ashley would say these people are wrong.
So then after the preacher was done, all these people snuck out of church, including me and my family. Well, as soon as we left, we entered in this hallway. See, the church was inside this building, like in a big room. And so when we got out in the hallway, I saw across the hall that there was this other room. Only this room was filled with like Quakers, and I like looked in the room and saw all these people in old-fashioned clothes and they were yelling and singing all at the same time. Well then I looked in the corner of the room, and there was this closet door shut and this piano was pushed against it. And somehow, I don't know how, but I knew that my dog Hailey was trapped inside of it. I could hear her yelping and I knew that the Quakers didn't like dogs. So I told my family, and I said, "we have to get Hailey out of there!" So we snuck into the room, and somehow as soon as we were close enough to the closet door, Hailey crawled under the piano and was out and she was so excited to be free. She was jumping up and down and licking me. So then my family and I raced out of the church building and into the 4Runner.
When we got to the car, it was snowy and the roads were slushy, and we saw this Yukon truck almost crash into another car because they slipped on the roads. And I told my Dad, who was driving, I said, "go slow, we don't want to get into an accident." So we got to the house, but this wasn't my parent's house. We were in my Uncle's house. And then they went away and my uncle was there, and I remember telling him about my trip to New York. And he's like, "when are you going?" And I said, "In May. Let me just double check what time I'm leaving." Well then I found my e-mail with the dates, and I realized that I had booked a flight for April and not May. And I totally started to panic in my dream. And I wanted to cry, because I knew that I had gotten it through Orbitz, and I knew that the ticket was nonrefundable, and I knew that if I could change it, it would cost more money--money I didn't have to waste. So I called the 1800 number, and I got this agent, who was a lady. And I made up this story about how I know I was supposed to fly out in April, but I really needed May, and how my internet cut out when I was booking the tickets, and how I changed the dates after that happened and figured the ticket would reflect that and how I really needed to change my flight. And the lady was really nice, she was like okay, let me see what I can do. And I don't know if I got the flight or not because I woke up.
Dream analysis: I'm pretty sure the Bible thing came from S, because he had sent me the verse of the day, and I had asked him a question about it, and he said he would explain later. Which never happened because like I said, I was exhausted and he was on the bus on his way home anyways. And Hailey--she was probably in it because I saw my family last night for dinner and thought of her. And obviously, the Orbitz drama was because I had actually put in the wrong dates at one point last night. I remember cuz M and I were hootin and hollerin with joy because the price was seriously like a $100 less than what we ended up paying, BUT I had accidentally put in Saturday and Sunday, as in 2 days, not a whole 6 days. So that was part of that. And I guess the slushy roads had to have come from earlier this week when it was slushy outside. And my uncle, I talked to him the other day, so that's probably why he was in there. Either way, clearly I was stressed out.
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